Thirds

2010

Round 13 VS Croydon

Monty 9 Croydon 1
Luke Brazier was tremendous. So much so that rumor has it he's about to be signed by the Miami Heat. Braze struck out 5 in 4.1 innings, giving up just one hit, a ground ball up the middle just past the amazingly athletic, nimble dive of our fleet-footed second baseman. Asked after the game about his efforts Luke modestly stated "You know, I think NASA might be able to close up shop, I reckon I can just throw astronauts into space whenever they want.'
Close game early with the score 1-0 Monty after 3 with Braze socring our only run after getting on through an error, moving to second on the same error, heading to third on a errant pickoff to CF, then scoring on a wild pitch. Lollygaggers.
Coach Gibson rightly queried our effort and application after the 3rd dig, encouraging us to stop sucking so bad, with Brendan Hanton leading us off with a hard base hit to left, followed by a Keiper double to right centre, bringing Kristian Toulson to the plate. Kritter launched a 'no-doubter' deep over the left field fence to put us in front 4-0. We scored a further 5 in the 5th, before Croydon scored a run in the last to close the game out 9-1. Some good at bats after the first couple of innings, with Gibbo and Sam drawing two walks each an under the radar contribution.. Yes, I have taken the book home.
Interesting banter in parts of the game - with 15 year old Shielsy irking the Rams through cleanly running into their shortstop - thankfully the hotheads on both sides were miles away from the action, but it was ordinary.
Interesting bits and pieces
Their pitcher throwing a 2 and 1 knuckle ball to Sam Hamilton with 2 out and nobody on. Safety first brother.
Shielsy throwing out a runner trying to steal second by 5-10 feet
Hitting slow and slower knuckleballs isn't easy, but it's fun trying
Pitchers shouldn't take 20 seconds between pitches - it wasn't as slow as Melboure Uni, but we should get in more than 5 innings in 2 hours. It's not a Red Sox/Yankees game.
We should not be annoyed when hit by a 50 mph knuckleball. It's funny. Take your base and see if their first baseman has any good sayings or stories.
Hits
Keiper 2 (2B), Roberts 2, Toulson (HR), Hanton, Brazier

Round 12 VS Greensborough

We had 22 hits, they had 2.
Their pitcher threw to 46 batters for 171 pitches in 6 innings, before bad light stopped proceedings, with our 7 runs not counting as we reverted to the scores after five. Yes, same dude threw 171 pitches.
Lots of highlights, but special shout outs to young punks Lewis Thorpe and Mitch Ellis - promising signs for the club to see kids that young playing well.
Hits Toulson 4 (3B, 2B), Pearce 3 (3B, 2B), Mitchell 3 (2 2B), Gibson 3 (2 2B), Hanton 2, Pitts 2, Thorpe 2, Ellis 2 (2B), Keiper 1 (!)

Round 11 - BYE

No report.

Round 10 VS Waverley

WASHOUT vs Waverley
I say play on, I don't think the heavy stuff is going to come down for quite a while.
It rained and the field was rubbish. Waverley went through the motions to get it fixed, but lacked enthusiasm. After filling a hole in the mound with soupy mud - it was mutually agreed that the field was no good as the mound was too ordinary. Minutes later we noticed the Waverley 2's playing on the main diamond which was far worse than the outer, with lots of standing water and two official umpires. Not sure who said it, but there's a quote out there about baseball along the lines of 'the best thing you can do in a day is play a winning game of baseball. The second best thing you can do with your time is play a losing game.' While that might be overboard, playing once a week with a few BYE rounds about - it's not great to sit around in the sunshine. End rant.

Round 9 VS Mitchell Majors

Monty 6 Mitchell Majors 3
A game no doubt both teams have looked forward to for a while - like that new Sex and the City movie, err, if you're a girl of course. Firstly Gibbo can't drive. It's bad, bordering on horrible. Volvo driver with a sunhat on the back parcel shelf bad. Somehow we got to Broadford. Simon got the start, and while he proved he doesn't know our signs, he pitched great against a good hitting lineup - allowing just 2 hits in 5 innings, striking out 5 - but walking 5 too - sort that out Puma. Tim Mitchell (The Beatles were once asked how often they'd like to see Tim Mitchell catch. The result was their hit "Eight Days a Week'.) caught well and threw out 2 baserunners.
With the bat we were okay, without anyone having a day out, but we scored in 4 of 6 innings, but failed to make the most of our chances - with the 4th inning particularly ordinary, with 3 consecutive hits to start the inning from Pittsy, Josh DDs and The Puma - only to see us not score a run after a strikeout and double play ground ball. That's not how you make porridge.
Good close game all around, and the MMs will expect to play better against us next time, but a good win for us to consolidate top spot on the ladder.
Hits
Gibson (3B), Hanton, Mack, Roberts, Pitts, Deans-Draper, Fitzmaurice

Round 8 VS Panton Hill

Monty 7 Panton Hill 3
Gibbo and the Toulsons face off.
Awkward day at the park. 3's coach Dale Gibson, leading from the front all season, welcomed Scrawny Toulson to the 3's in his pre-game speech - thanking him for having a run with us and acknowledging that his form in the 2s was woeful and he was lucky not to be offered up to Ringwood for a plastic bag full of out of date 'Time Out' bars from the Cadbury factory. Not well received. Gibbo followed it up by telling Scrawny that playing CF in the 2s and 1s was super, but "you're in my world now, I hope you enjoy right field" - maybe not the best way to welcome a great Monty club-man into our fold, but I guess if I wanted to have input into this kind of stuff I'd have put my hand up to coach.
Anyways, after the initial tension/brawl - we backed up Kritter Toulson "I don't even like Scrawny, if I could pick my own brother he'd be third or fourth in line behind Chewbacca and Tom Green - not sure about Joaquin Phoenix these days - but he's line ball with Scrawmy for third in line in preferred brotherhood, but there's no way I sit idle while some lanky personal trainer disrespects my idiot brother. That's my job." who took to the mound cursing Gibbo between pitches, which proved quite effective. Kritt ended up throwing a 3 hitter (over 4 innings) giving up just 2 earned runs (yeah Gibbo, I know Kritter made the error that lead to the third run, but it's still an unearned run).
Meanwhile, with the bat we scored 6 runs in the first inning, kicked off by 4 consecutive extra base hits to Shiels, Gibbo, Keips and Scrawny - and later assisted by Tim Mitchell, Wayne Roberts and Kritter. Not a lot happened from there, but Gibbo and Scrawny kept hitting, and Grant pulled the pin and went to the bar. Smart guy, but what do you expect with a head that big.
Rain wiped out the last 30 or so minutes leaving us fairly comfortable winners. Nice work to the Panton Hill fellas for hanging around for ages and having a chat and a beer.
Hits
Gibson 3 (HR, 3B and 2B) S Toulson (2 x 3B) Shiels (2B), Keiper (2B), K Toulson (2B), Roberts

Round 7 VS Watsonia

GMBC 4 Watsonia 0
Two undefeated sides going at it, great tight game all around. Pumakid on the hill dealing aces, backed up by some solid plays in the field, with Kritter closing out later. Watsonia created a few chances, but couldn't convert, with a line drive straight to Shielsy in left - which he threw to Gmack at 2 for a double play a key inning ender for us early. In contrast - when we threatened we usually pushed a run or two across, with Grant Mack scoring two early through a clutch, two out double. We squandered a few chances, but played well enough on the day to secure the points against a quality team. Tom Shiels the standout for the game (along with GMack and Simon), really coming into his own and likely to see time in the 2's before long.
While we're winning, having fun, etc - we're striking out way too often. Let's just say I've got an idea or two involving a pink dress for those who strike out each week - hit the ball Alice.

Round 6 VS Heathmont

Monty 9 Heathmont 1
By all accounts our best game of the year. The Little Puma pitched like a madman, fanning 6 in 6 innings after getting his L plates that morning. Does it get any better for a 16 year old? Nice work tiger. Nick Carlton closed out and threw like a taller, right handed, more erratic version of Simon - shutting out the penguins.
Brendan Hanton went nuts - with 3 hits including a double and a BIG home run - though I hear the highlight was him nabbing second base on a wild pitch. Shielsy tells me you were faster from 1st to 2nd in your home run trot than the wild pitch, but hey safe is safe, right? Grant Mack stood tall against the penguins (hahahaha) and blasted a HR and stole 3 bases.
Other highlights - Pittsy's hit parade continues, Brazier proving he's not just a young punk who can throw bullets from the mound - he's a young punk who can snag fly balls in left and swing a mean stick, Tom Shiels continuing to impress with defence a good at-bats, and Matt McQuiggan showing off Jet-like wheels and contributing off the bench, and Wayne blasting a double with his fly un-done. "Breezier" indeed.

Round 5 VS Melb Uni

Monty 6 Melbourne Uni 2
We played cricket on Saturday - which is often referred to by Americans as baseball on valium. Okay, we didn't really play cricket, but we all know Pittsy looks like Sachin Tendulkar. The game was slow, seriously slow. While my contacts at Melbourne Uni may be a little out of date - for the love of god, Bitmead, Steve Lehmann, Kingy - PLEASE help your 3's pitcher work faster. 15-20 seconds between pitches isn't fun. You're left fielder completed his degree during the game, but thankfully we got to experience 3 O-Weeks, so it wasn't all bad.
After not playing well the week before, except of course Tim Mitchell, we had stern words before the game vs Uni. All pumped up, we jumped out of the gate like a tranquilized donkey, and promptly gave up 2 runs in the top of the first. Brazier was throwing well, but a few mistakes behind him, and some good baseball from Uni saw us down 2-0 early. Far from ideal. We answered immediately through the top of the order getting on, and Grant Mack hitting a bases loaded double to deep right to score two. Keips then showed everyone why he's universally called "The Jet" and stole home on the pitch. Not something you see every day - Keiper later commenting "Yeah, I crapped my pants and I'm not scared to admit it. I could have caught the pitch, I had that good of a jump, but seeing Brendan Hanton start to swing at the pitch, and taking a huge cut while I was in the batting box with him, was nothing short of terrifying."
With a fair bit of momentum back in our corner, Brazier took control, striking out 6 in 4 innings. We didn't make the most of our chances and perhaps should have scored a few more, but we threatened in most innings, and once Gibbo finally grabbed the right bat, he launched a monster over left centre to further advertise his own personal training business (email him at gibsonspersonaltraining@hotmail.com and you too can learn to hit the long ball).
Good game all around - and nice work to the Uni fellas in hanging around for a beer or two - I'd still like to see your pitcher work quicker so the outfield doesn't sit down between pitches, but that's just me. Next week - Heathmont

Round 4 VS Croydon

GMBC 9 Croydon 5
It's official - this is a weird, weird season. Not Jeffery Dahmer weird, more like the kid with the video camera in American Beauty. A quick history lesson - we've started slowly a couple of times over the first 4 games of the past few years, where we've been ultimately successful - 3 wins and 1 loss last year (inc 2 very narrow wins vs teams that didn't make finals), and 1 win and 3 losses after 4 in 2007 - so to be 4-0 and universally scratching our heads and wondering if we can get any worse - is probably ok. Sure, it's not fun for the majority of the team to play well below their best, but the big train isn't fast off the mark. Not saying we're going to get any better, but hey - 4-0 isn't exactly a disaster, but we need to play heaps better.
Tim Mitchell was welcomed to Monty - known to most at the club and having an early impact - with a first up hit, aggressive base-running in going first to third on a hit to left, and throwing out a base runner at home - later talked up by Grant Mack "Tim Mitchell once built Rome in under 6 hours. Bruce Springsteen calls Tim Mitchell "The Boss", Justin Bieber wishes he is Tim Mitchell.' High praise.
Kritter threw and while 'hitting the bull' regularly, he was largely untouched, though we didn't help him out much in the field, with our infield off the boil, but picked up by our outfield - through two handy catches - Tim Mitchell (Some people wear Superman pyjamas, Superman wears Tim Mitchell pyjamas) ran in for a good grab early, and Gibbo took a double away through making a sliding catch in deepish right-center. In contrast - Croydon's infield was very good, making all the plays, but their outfield. . . . not so much.
Tough day to hit on the outer diamond looking into the sun, but we regularly got runners on base, but irregularly scored them. After jumping out to a 4 run lead early, we went pretty quiet for a while - BIG positives in junior punks Shielsy and Brazier coming through with clutch hits - Braze in particular with a key hit late to drive in 3 runs and seemingly put the game out of reach. Tim Mitchell (Tim Mitchell once ordered a Big Mac at Hungry Jacks, and got one) closed and got into and out of trouble, somehow ending up with the win and the save. Thanks Lorraine.
Up next - Melbourne University - should be interesting to hear the student's viewpoint on Grant Mack's contemporary take on Darwinism - 'There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Tim Mitchell allows to live.'

Round 3 VS Greensborough

GMBC 13 Greensborough 1
A pretty good game of baseball, that got out of hand the last hour or so. Keips threw strikes for four digs and was helped along by two double plays - Kritter rolling one 5-3, and Grant catching a line drive and doubling off the runner at second. Luke Brazier relieved and must've looked like he was throwing 90mph+ - throwing well and helped by two 9-3 outs on hard hit balls to RF. Steele Ratcliffe threw the last and was pretty well untouchable.
With the bats we were pretty ordinary - scratching a run here and there, before Pittsy had a great long at-bat and ended up hitting a bases clearing double down the left-field line. We took the walks handed to us and plenty of reasonably well hit balls landed in, but only Stringer's shot to the fence was hit hard.
Good job by the G'Boro starter to keep us quiet for the first few digs - with some youth and inexperienced relievers making the scoreline look worse than it was.
BIG focus this week against Croydon, as very well summarised by Coach Gibbo (still sounds wacky, but it's growing on me!) has to be switching on early. The better teams will make us pay in a two hour game if we're casual/lazy for the first hour or so - let's get it fixed.

Round 2 VS Ringwood

GMBC 7 Ringwood 4
By all reports a fairly lacklustre affair, with the men from Monty not finding any gear other than 2nd on the outer diamond at Ringwood. The Little Puma went off on the hill, and threw okay, before giving way to Grant Mack - who threw painful, but effective bullets to close out the win. No superstars with the bat - but apparently Kristian Toulson squeals when he's scared. Who would have thought.

Round 1 VS Waverley

Monty 14  Waverley 2
 
A few changes over summer with Grant Mack steping down after a few ordinary years as 3's coach, Whytey on loan to the Vancouver Storks, Trumble joining the lawn-bowls circuit and Mack and Keiper away for a week.  Hanton (the ambiturner) returned from a year in Toronto, and three young bucks made their way into last year's side with U17 2009 premiership player Thomas "B-Wright" Sheils along with U15 2009 premiership players Matty "Nugget" Mcquiggan and Luke "I too will soon have a nickname I don't like" Sandy.  Welcome aboard fellas.  I apologize in advance. 
 
A new era began Saturday, with Dale Gibson taking the reins as club coach - and wood bats also being used in C grade for the first time.  Good luck Gibbo - should be a fun season all around.
 
Simon Fitzmaurice got the start on the hill - and did not disappoint.  The Puma threw the majority of the game - showcasing a fastball, cutter, change and his 'out' pitch, the split.  Unfair.  Simon taking the limelight in stride, overheard after the game "You know, all last year I kept saying I was way better than Wytey, but Stringer wouldn't listen.   I'm grabbing this opportunity with both hands - like choking a chicken.  Hey, you're not writing this down are you?  Damnit you know I grew up on a farm!"  McQuiggan later relieved on the mound and did well too, throwing the last inning and wisely rolling out the cliches after the game "I was just happy to be given a shot by coach Gibson.  I'll keep working hard and I'm confident I can continue to help the team."
 
With the bats - plenty of hits from everyone, with Brendan Hanton landing the big fly - a grand slam.  Not a bad start to the season for BH.  Overall we played well and got the points, with new coach Gibbo downright chuffed after the victory "Man, I gotta be honest I was a little nervous, but when Brendan put one onto the road to give us a big lead I felt a strange sense of calm overwelm me, like jumping in a warm spa bath on a cold July evening.  After that I felt like an experienced puppateer - it all made sense and everything came off.  I've been practicing giving signals in front of the mirror for weeks - and I mucked up a few early, but it was fun.   I reckon I could coach third base now for the Washington Nationals or the Mets, but I'll need a few more weeks before I could do it for one of the good teams."  Kristian Toulson later summarizing the viewpoint of many "I thought Gibbo looked like he was checking his pockets for his keys or mobile or something.  Nobody knew what was going on."  With Wayne Roberts chiming in perfectly "Except Waverley."
 
Congrats on your first win as coach Gibbo - I look forward to pouring Gatorade buckets over your head as the clock is winding down in the 4th quarter.
 
Up next - Ringwood - who've changed around their teams around in also entering B grade, so who knows!

2009

Round 17 VS Ringwood

Monty 16 Ringwood 10
Big game for the boys from Proclamation Park, with a win for them locking up 4th spot, and a loss most likely knocking them out, with Knox playing last placed, but improving Greensborough. Whytey started the game memorably - 1st pitch single, 2nd pitch single, 3rd pitch JACK. 3-0 Ringwood after three pitches. Dunno if that's happened before, but anything that gets the spectators down to the ground ON TIME has got to be good for baseball, right? From there we went nuts with Steele Davey, Gibbo and Stringer going especially nuts - to hit the front 10-4 (some guy in teal jacked a solo shot for them, extreme height). Ringwood clawed their way back with a little help from some sloppy D to tie the game 10-10, with Kritter taking to the mound and rewriting over 150 years of history by telling Pittsy "1 is a curve and 2 is a fastball. Put down 3 if you want the lucky dip". Brilliant. No more runs for Ringwood.
Entering the bottom of the last at 10 each, Pittsy smashed a one-out single, with Kritter moving him to third by driving a bullet to right field. With R'wood playing the infield in Trumble again was clutch for us and knocked in the winning run with a basehit to left. We piled on a few more from there with Josh DDs knocking in a couple before turning Anthony Mundine on Steele's big jack to center. Love the enthusiasm, but not so much the timing. Anyways - we won, Ringwood thought they were out, but they snuck in on the back of some wacky results which saw Knox finish 7th and Heathmont miss finals by percentage.
Up next - finals vs Watsonia - with the winner straight through to the granny.

Round 16 VS Doncaster

Donny 13 Monty 4
With Whytey undergoing corrective surgery to remove his troublesome third nipple, Keips took to the hill vs Doncaster. It was not pretty. Keips got smashed like a sailor on shore leave, giving up 9 runs without getting out of the 2nd dig, fooling few with 60 mph waist-high floaters, with the Dragons hitting him hard and often. Kritter relieved and did a good job as always, but the horse had bolted - actually he had bolted, slowed to a canter, walked a while and perhaps even left the country - wherever he is we couldn't find him. We had a reasonable dig later stringing together a few hits and walks, but too little too late as the saying goes. Only highlight for the day was Gibbo getting the call to close the game out - guiding several slow pitches to the plate before finding a pair and throwing a hard low strike to finish the game and wrap up all of the club's pitching trophies for the season.
Hits - dunno, not many - if any

Round 15 VS Knox

Monty 16 Knox 2
Gibbo Unloads on Knox
Rewind to Round 12 - Gibbo overheard to say to Josh Deans-Draper and Trumble "Guys, as of yesterday I'm a born again virgin. Sexual encounters of all descirptions are over-rated - I'm over it and I don't need it. Not sure how you sign up to be a monk, but I'm looking into it."
Unknown if Gibbo is sticking to his promise of celibacy, but suffice to say the kid had plenty of energy in the batters box on Saturday, smashing the ball all four times for 2 home runs onto the road, a double off the fence and a hard single to left - which was possibly his hardest hit ball of the day.
Knox showed up and actually out hit us - yeah, I had to look twice, but they had 11 hits to our 9. Check that - 11 to 10 it should be - Wayno's dribbler down the first base line hit the bag - bit tough to score that one an error - so we were out-hit 11-10, but we hit exceptionally well with two outs and runners on, and Whytey was outstanding every time Knox threatened, helped along in the 5th with Gibbo, Wayne and Pittsy combining to throw out Scott Ramsey - who had a touch of the Chris Whyte basepath flu - and was thrown out by 30 feet (a full dose of the Chris Whyte flu results in being consistently out on close, yet oddly head scratching plays on the bases. We've all had it occasionally.)
Overall the scoreline flattered us - but is misleading. We fielded very well, Whytey threw possibly his best game of the year, and our situational hitting was excellent - but we need to find another gear for finals, well 8 of us do, Gibbo - you're excused. Lots of discipline at the plate - with 9 walks - but also a 3 pitch inning, which can be excused when you're up 7-0, but if you're third up following consecutive 1 pitch at-bats - it's a good idea to smash the ball if you swing at the first pitch. That said, it's also a good idea to run o first if you hit a ball into fair territory, even if it's straight up.
Anyway - we won pretty big and G-Train went bananas - excellent win against a quality team.
Defensive highlights - Pittsy and Whyety combining very well - with Bags throwing out a runner in the 1st and making a good throw to 1 to later. Zero errors - okay, Whytey missed a comebacker and Gibbo nearly took a long fly near the fence- but neither were easy plays and both correctly adjudged to be hits - good on us for being awesome in the field. Infield was great with Kritter and Wayno both outstanding and Stringer bowling more short-pitched stuff than Steve Harmison.
Hits - Gibson 4 (2 HR, 2B) Toulson (2B), Whyte, Roberts, Mack, Keiper, Deans-Draper
Up next - Donny at Donny, with the Dragons all but eliminated from the finals hunt, but a team with several top 5 scalps this season.

Round 14 VS Melb Uni

Report to follow.

Round 13 VS Mitchell Majors

Report to follow.

Round 12 VS Footscray

Report to follow.

Round 11 VS Greensborough

Report to follow.

Round 10 VS Heathmont

Report to follow.

Round 9 VS Ringwood

Report to follow.

Round 8 VS Doncaster

GMBC 17 Doncaster 2
I highly recommend that you get on the bus
Donny came to Monty - and might not be too keen to come back soon, especially if Grant Mack is playing. We played pretty well, with the exception of Stringer who reminded everyone of Barry Bonds, except right handed, slightly shorter, with blonde hair, normal size neck and playing second base. Grant had as many hits as Doncaster (4) but with 2 home runs, a double and a single - 6 RBIs. Not bad for a bus driver. Chris Whyte (on the bus) also had a day out - with 2 hits including a double to go along with 6 innings pitched for just 1 earned run - 4 hits with 4 K's. Wayne Roberts (also on the bus) bussed up a moonshot over center field, to go along with another hit - while Pittsy, RJ and Pearcy (all on the bus) had multiple hit games. Busriffic.
Meanwhile, Gibbo and Keips kept slamming down Weightgain 4000. Both WAY too buff to get on the bus. BEEFCAKE. "Follow your dreams. You can reach your goals. We're living proof." said the former 90 pound weaklings, now bulked up to 125lbs and wearing singlets - despite the three feet of snow on the ground.
Some handy stuff defensively with Pittsy throwing out a runner for a strike out/throw 'em out double play, and Stringer and Wayno rolling a double - one error on the day overall acceptable, and an improvement, but not quite a clean sheet.
Big couple of weeks ahead, with Ringwood followed by the much improved Heathmont before a week off. No point getting ahead of ourselves - if we can continue to focus on backing up our pitchers and having good at-bats, we'll keep winning innings and therefore games.
HIts - Mack 4 (2 HR, 2B), Roberts 2 (HR), Pitts 2 (2 2B), Pearce 2 (2B), Whyte 2 (2B), Jenkins 2, Keiper 1

Round 7 VS Knox

GMBC 16 Knox 3
What is going on in the VWBL? Is censorship on the way, or should we just be mindful that anyone, including the elderly but unlikely the illiterate could be reading? For anyone out there who may or may not have objected to my portrayal of the events unfolding between 2:45 and 4:45 on Saturday afternoons. I stand by everything I've typed - Pittsy really did jack one, Broadford is far away, Round 4 wasn't fun, we did roll a triple play against Greensy, Watsonia smashed us, and ok, well, none of the mafia betting stuff actually happened - and to come totally clean - I didn't get 50 cents off a hot dog with bacon at Heathmont, I made that up to sound rad. Can you handle the truth Colonel Jessup?
So here's the truth - take it to the bank.
I picked up Ryan Jenkins in the Millennium Falcon - I initially hopped in my X-Wing fighter, but R2D2 quickly reminded me that it was only a 1 seater, and unless having Ryan sit on my lap was my way of coming out of the space-closet - it physically won't work. Smart droid. Like I said I picked up RJ in the Millennium Falcon - Chewbacca flew us there and I chatted with RJ, while playing hologram chess, was good to catch up as he'd been playing ball on the ice planet Hoth for the last season or so.
We were INCREDIBLY lucky to have the services of Josh Deans-Draper and Glen Pitts this week - who's attempt at setting a world record for repetitive singing - they, get this, sang Vampire Weekend's 'Cape Cod Kwassa' 1,805 times consecutively over 3 days (allowed 5 minutes off every 3 hours for food/drink/toilet stops as per Guinness guidelines) before JUST making it out to Knox on time. Josh later explaining "We had the maths worked out perfectly, to the minute baby, but, err, we forgot about the food breaks, and you know Pittsy with Pringles - once he pops he just can't stop".
Kritter and Whytey hopped in the Mystery Machine with Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby - thankfully Scrappy Doo wasn't involved, as IMO that's when Scooby jumped the shark. No doubt they would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you flamin' kids. Kritter wore a belt he bought off Ebay for $2,300 with free shipping - which used to belong to Elvis Presley, swung 4 bats to get loose before an at-bat where he hit an infield dribbler, and admitted that the scab on his nose was from rug-burn.
Knox had 20+ unavailables across their club - all massive fans of Vampire Weekend and record setting - tough to play ball after being awake for 72+ hours straight. Not withstanding their club's preference for New York alternative music, they jumped out of the blocks with 5 consecutive bunt singles - the fourth one in particular coming as a huge surprise. We responded with a grand slam, suicide squeeze, lead-off single, double steal, 7 balks, and a shot off the gun turret of the Millennium Falcon - not necessarily in that order, but Gibbo was involved each and every time.
Grant said nothing whatsoever before or during the game - directing traffic and giving signs through playing varying songs on a harmonica - the steal sign was 'YMCA' by the Village People, hit and run was the theme to 'Mission Impossible' and the bunt was 'Ice Ice Baby' - all rather difficult to play on a harmonica, though Wayne had very different dance moves for each song, including grabbing Ant Collis for an extraordinary YMCA tango, so we figured things out pretty good.
We beat an undermanned Knox who were missing quite a few players from the GF 9 months or so ago. Josh Deans-Draper, Wayne, Whytey, Jenkins, Gmack and Gibbo all had days out. Pittsy, Keips and Kritter all played good defence. . Whytey starred on the mound, easily throwing his best game for the year. .Make no mistake Knox will play finals and play well - so no getting ahead of ourselves after a big win. Probably not a bad thing for Knox to play a few kids in this grade - they looked to be pretty good and will be better off playing a few games in a level above where they've played.
Up next - Queen's Birthday weekend followed by Doncaster at Monty. Enjoy the week off, but get down to training!!
Hits - Josh DD's 4 (2B), Jenkins 3 (Hr, 2x2B), Roberts 2 (HR), Whyte 2 (2B), Gibson 2 (2B), Mack 2, Keiper, Pitts Toulson
For an alternative viewpoint on Saturday's game try the below URL
http://knoxbaseball.com.au/Match-Reports/c-grade-match-report-v-gmbc

Round 6 VS Melb Uni

GMBC 16 Melbourne University 4
Spankfest
Uni came out to Monty, and things got out of control, downright hectic in fact. Cans of woopass were opened early, though Uni only brought a six pack, and, well, we had a slab and Josh Deans Draper showed up with a keg of his own. "Do you sell Woop'em? In a can?"
Uni had a few away, but jumped out of the blocks with 3 runs in the first, including a home run off Keiper, who is now throwing so slow that his pitches make a 'beepbeepbeep' noise usually only heard when heavy vehicles are reversing. We responded with 4 runs of our own, and with 7 runs scored in 15 minutes, L screens were brought out and placed in front of the mound, helmets were issued to outfielders, and a catholic priest showed up out of nowhere and gave last rites to both team's third baseman. Uni scored another in the 2nd, through another home run.
From there it was happy hour. Initial attempts to hit jacks didn't quite go to plan, with Stringer nearly knocking the fence over with a line drive double, Jake Connaughton coming down from the 2's for presumably just one week - smashing a double and a triple, Gibbo and Pittsy both hitting doubles off the fence. At that point in time Stringer called time and pointed out that while we might be ahead by 6+ runs, we were two behind in the only total that counts - "Trumble, how many salamis have we whomped today?" - "Err, doughnuts Skip. We're not hanging with the big dog, and frankly, it's embarassing." True dat. Stringer's final thought - "Here's how we're gonna roll lunchboxes - All you gotta do is trust your instincts. How do you think a lion knows how to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's code written in their DNA, says "Tackle the damned gazelle". Believe me - in each one of us, except maybe Wayne, there's a code written that instructs, no compels us to launch monsters. Get it done."
Seconds later Josh Deans-Draper (double D's) crushed a biscuit to deep left-center. Soon after Glen Pitts dropped a bomb to deep left. . . hang on. . . . PITTSY launched a monster? HELL YEAH! Sometimes and individual highlight will overshadow a game - without doubt, this is right up there with ANYTHING I've ever seen in terms of an individual player doing something special and making a game irelevent. Here's why - Pittsy, as of last Friday, had NEVER hit a home run, not in juniors, seniors, slow pitch softball or even Nintendo Wii. He's hit countless doubles off the fence, home run fouls, and can clearly hit and is an excellent catcher, but has carried an increasingly heavy monkey on his back as - the dude in the 3's that hasn't hit a jack - the 28 year old virgin if you will. Didn't help when his little brother uncovered his home run swing a few years ago. So when he hit one over the fence - to the deepest part of the ballpark, it was pandemonium. Honestly I'd expected to see Pittsy pull a lampshade out of his bag and wear it as a hat the rest of the game, but everyone's favorite GMBC player took it all in stride, presumably going nuts on the inside, but wow - not sure how to compare it or describe it, but it will be something I reckon everyone in the team will remember for ages - not often you say that about a regular season game.
The crushfest continued - Josh DD's then hit his second jack of the game, and second in the 3rds with a big blast over left, with Chris Whyte also putting one well over the fence - pimping his ride with a bat toss for the ages. Later in the inning Stephen Pearce (Waynewho) entered the game as a pinch hitter for Grant Mack, and crushed one himself over the fence. Thankfully, with 1 out in the inning and the 5 minute rule upon us, the game was concluded - 16-4 Monty with the salami count 5-2. Extraordinary stuff.
Hits - Deans-Draper 2 (2 HR), Pitts 2 (HR, 2B), Connaughton 2 (2B, 3B), Mack 2 (2B), Whyte (HR), Gibson (2B), Keiper, Roberts, Trumble
Question for the week - Are you on the bus?? Several players notably NOT yet on board.

Round 5 VS Mitchell Majors

Round 4 VS Footscray

Round 3 VS Greensborough

Round 2 VS Watsonia

Round 1 VS Heathmont

GMBC 9 Heathmont 8
Mediocre but Effective
Starting the season with the reigning premiers (us, for those who've tuned in late) against last year's wooden spooners wasn't a matchup that had tongues wagging. Vegas intially offering odds of $1.01 for a Monty win, later removing that option after an abnormally high amount of betting interest from Asia and the former Soviet Union, installing GMBC as favorites with the winning margin of 8.5 runs set as the line. Suffice to say we didn't cover the spread, over half of our lineup has subsequently fled the country, Pittsy was kneecapped at the airport by the triads, Wayne was last seen being fitted with cement shoes and thrown into the Plenty River– thankfully only 4 feet deep, and Gibbo has developed a nervous tic and repeatedly mumbles “the dude just threw too slow”. Vegas is now rightly questioning whether or not offering odds on amateur winter C grade baseball in Australia is a viable business decision.
With a few temporary 'outs' from the '08 GF side in Stu Devlin – still can't find his uniform after taking it all off in the GF celebration, Brett Fairley – alegedly hurt his knee kicking ass over summer, along with longer term 'outs' in Sam Hamilton – firstly playing for Vic in the chick's nationals, just prior to having a shoulder operation (I thought you had to throw hard to hurt your arm), and Brandan Hanton – off in Toronto chasing Canadian tail – we welcomed into the 3's some young blood – Simon Fitzmaurice and Josh Lucas – no nicknames as yet, though Josh may come to be known as 'Earmuffs', and Simon could yet become 'The Little Puma'.
Righto – we did just enough to win, defence was okay - with Kritter's catch in left field a highlight, but overall our bats sucked. Whytey threw pretty well for the most part, though his change-up only fooled our outfielders, who thought the resulting crushed shots would land 20 feet behind them as opposed to 50. Live and learn. Well done to Heathmont, who look to be much improved on last year – clearly out-hitting us on the day, fielding pretty well, and getting out of a multitude of jams which you'll get yourself into giving up 4 hits and 9 walks in 6 innings. Gotta credit their pitching too – easy to say we sucked, but someone was throwing the ball our way, and doing a good job of it. Kudos to the umpire – called a great game, but oddly allowed an average of 12 minutes in between innings, thankfully allowing me to catch up on some sleep and/or chat up the bird in the canteen – she later gave me 50 cents off a hot dog with bacon after the game, so she clearly digs me. Groundwork, it's all about groundwork.
Lots to improve on, though most of our side having not played summer will be better for the run. First and foremost – hitting – 4 hits, while 3 more than Vanilla Ice, won't win many ball games. Chatter – yeah, some newbies but wtf? Was like playing in a library. Pre-game – random, like the samples from a song from The Avalanches.
It's not all bad – mediocrity can often be quite successful – see Helen Hunt, the Toyota Camry, beer from New South Wales, Steve Bradbury, and Tony Liberatore.
Up next – an A3 finalist from last year in Watsonia. Unlikely we'll play like we did this week, but if we do we'll hear that ridiculous song. Please no, I've got a massive lunch on Friday which will turn into umpteen evening beers – if I hear people shouting about Red Rooster straight after the game it will
a) be way too loud
b) cause me to swing by KFC on the way home (it's closer)
c) result in a laughing fit at a theme song which makes the Freo Dockers cringe
d) all of the above
Final thought – if you are the president of the league, shouldn't your name be listed on the team sheet if you're going to play??? You know who you are Frenchy.
Hits – Keiper 2, Gibson, Whyte (yes, just four, I told you we sucked)
Walks – 9

2008

A Thirds

Grand Final VS Knox

GMBC 9 Knox 8
Don't Call it a Comeback II
On a perfect afternoon for a grand final we grinded our way through the hills in the venga bus (thankfully one of the few crap songs NOT in Gibbo's ipod). Arriving at Gilbert Park, more than one of us noted the wind blowing a gale out to right-center, and we set about warming up and getting ready for the big game. Despite finishing minor premiers and beating Knox three times during the year at a combined 41-14 scoreline, we were switched on (literally) and ready for a big game. All of this despite Grant saying 'jugs' several times in his pre-game rev-up, with Devlin and Keiper in particular giggling each time like boys half their age, well, would you believe a third of their age?
All was set for a big game, with more people in the stands than a 2008 Sydney Swans home final. On paper, or even a whiteboard, Monty were red-hot favorites, with Prideux encouraging us to clean up Knox, and John Booth reminding us that so far in 2008 against Knox we went deep more often than Jaques Cousteau. None of this meant anything to Knox, who had nothing to lose and took it right up to us.
Chris Whyte was given the ball, and as he does on rare occasions, got off to a rough start. After a leadoff full count walk, he gave up a hit to center, but then recovered well in fielding a bunt down the third base line to get an out at first. We haven't seen many bunts this season, being the thirds and all, so for Knox's #3 hitter to bunt with the wind blowing out was most unusual – odd enough for Wayne to call time and berate Knox's Ramo all the way back to the bench. Harsh, but fair. Perhaps vindicating the Knox strategy their #4 hitter slapped a base hit to center to score 1 and put runners at first and third with one out. The next hitter smashed one in the hole, which Brett Fairley did very well to pick up – unfortunately he threw the potential double play ball into right field, plating one and again putting runners on first and third. Hack. After a stolen base, the next batter hit a double to right center to score two, putting Knox up 4-0 with only one out. After a walk Whytey induced a double play – Wayne to Grant to Keips. Not the start we wanted, but no panic stations given the bats at our disposal.
In reply, we loaded the bases through walks to Wayne Roberts and Brett Fairley, and a hard two-out base hit to left field by Grant Mack. Gibbo then threatened, getting ahead in the count, but then grounding out to second base. 4-0 down after one, 3 runners left on base and a little bit of frustration seeping into the Mighty Monty 3's.
The theme continued in the 2nd, through Knox scoring 1 in the top of the inning, and us responding with 2 runs courtesy of Pittsy hitting a deep sac fly and Brett Fairley with a 1 out bases loaded RBI ground out to third to drive in Brendan Hanton who had walked earlier, but Keips couldn't deliver with runners on 2nd and 3rd, with a ground out to third ending the inning. 5-2 Knox, 5 runners left on base. Like a rabid monkey with a bunch of bananas just inches out of reach, the frustration grew.
Knox loaded the bases in the third, with Whytey then deciding the next batter should ride the lightning, promptly hitting him in the leg, quite possibly causing a bruise or even a hematoma, but driving in a run nonetheless. 6-2 Knox. Stringer drew a leadoff walk, and advanced as far as third, with Brendan Hanton also drawing a walk in the inning, his second of the game, but again we couldn't deliver in the clutch. Frustration level now equal to any ex-boyfriend of Jennifer Hawkins.
Top 4 and Knox kept hitting like men possessed, with 2 doubles and a single to score another two – Knox 8 GMBC 2. Devlin led off smashing the ball towards left, but was unlucky to be out on a good play by the Knox shortstop. With 2 outs and nobody on, we'd officially hit rock bottom – we'd threatened but hadn't landed a death-blow. Brett Fairley got us going with a 4 pitch walk, quickly followed by Keiper, throwing team batting out the window, putting the first pitch over the fence in right to score 2 and cut the lead to 8-4. Come on Monty. Signs of life in the juggernaut . . .
After giving up 8 runs in 4 digs Chris Whyte decided enough was enough. After a leadoff double (which nearly resulted in a pitching change, which ironically may have cost us the game) The Honky was simply tremendous, setting down 9 of the next 10 batters, with the only baserunner getting on when Grant bobbled a ball, yet still threw him out at first, only for the umpire to call him safe – the batter enquiring of Keips "Uh, did you bobble that?" The response being "Err, no. You'd better not score". He didn't and Whytey and our defence was stellar from that point on, with Gibbo turning the routine into the spectacular in center, and Wayne and Brett eating up any and all ground balls to the left side, with Devlin fighting a winning battle against the sun in left.
In the 5th we missed another key chance to score, with Gibbo smashing a leadoff double, advancing to third on a passed ball with none out, but not scoring. Not great baseball, with two uncharacteristic strike outs, and a good defensive play on Pittsy's grounder to short closing out the dig. Club coach David White overheard to say "Jeez, that's not ideal. Back in my day we'd score that run 14 times out of 15, and the other time? Zoinks! You did NOT want to be that guy." Insightful.
Things changed in the 6th . . . . Wayne got on with a 1 out error by the Knox shortstop, before Brett Fairley walked. Juggernaut officially stirring, though still groggy. Keips then lined the first pitch into left center for a 2 RBI double, 8-6 Monty. Juggernaut now up and about, staggering down the hall headed for the shower. Two pitches later Grant Mack yelled 'PULL' and launched a monster to deep left center – with the huge home run tying the game at 8. Juggers now jogging down to the train station, having eaten breakfast and kissed the missus goodbye, officially UP and ABOUT. Crowd going bananas. Whytey then drew a 2 out walk and stole second, somewhat resembling Walt Flanagan's dog. Kristian Toulson then hit a squibber back to the Knox pitcher David Quick, who bobbled, then stepped on the ball before throwing to first just late to get the hustling Kritter. Possibly the play of the game, as not too many people run hard down the line after hitting a ball off the end of the bat straight to the pitcher, but luckily for us Kritter did, setting up Pittsy, 1st and 3rd with 2 out. While a motor mechanic, Pittsy has on many occasions told us after a few Crownies "You know guys, I shouldda been a postie. Now that's a good job. You ride a bike and deliver stuff, some people give you a few beers at Christmas, that shouldda been the life for me." Much like the postman, Glenn Pitts delivered, with a base hit to the shortstop, who made a diving play to keep the ball in the infield, but scoring Whytey from 3rd, putting us in front for the first time, 9-8. Juggernaut sipping coffee at his desk, checking emails and TCBB – Taking Care of Business Baby!. Devlin sauntered up to the plate, eager to add to the lead, but was robbed of the opportunity as the Knox catcher blocked a low pitch and threw to second, seemingly not in time to get Touls diving back into second, but adjudged to be out be the umpire. 9-8 Monty. Kritter covered in dirt, showcasing a monkey face, thankfully not a 'screaming seagull' or 'Cincinnati bowtie'. Whytey then sent down the next three hitters in order, with a fly ball to left, ground out to first, and a handy play by Wayne, as he's done all season, thrown over to Keips to finish the game and once again cue LL Cool J – Momma Said Knock You Out.
Great comeback, and great game of baseball overall. Knox were unlucky, and out-hit us for the majority of the game, but through Whytey shutting them down late, patient batting getting runners on base, and some timely hitting by Keips, Stringer and Pittsy the boys in black prevailed. The bus ride back to Monty was simply amazing. Fines, beers, singing, high fives out of the bus, minimal gear grinding, good times and thanks again to Gary Mack for arranging and driving, much appreciated!
Thanks to quite a few people that helped us out this season – the umpires, Prideaux, Carl, Gary Mack, Frank Crivelli, and a few of the 4's boys. Bench players who didn't get in the game, but were instrumental in getting us to the finals- Sam Hamilton, Dave Trumble, Cam Jury and Cam Carr. Lorraine for scoring all season and of course for bringing the biscuits – how do you like 'dem biscuits?, numerous people for running the canteen – John Booth in particular. David White for the training sessions and time spent helping anyone and everyone who asked, Grant Mack for taking the reigns – congrats on now being a premiership coach mate – couldn't happen to a better guy, and of course all the people/supporters/hecklers who came out for a look. Not often we get to put on a show in front of a crowd, but it was a big help on the day and much appreciated.
Thanks to the Knox boys for a great game (almost too good) and a great season. As Stringer saind after the game, we look forward to playing you guys, as it's always a good contest and played in the right spirit.
Hits – Keiper 2 (HR, 2B), Mack 2 (HR), Gibson (2B), Whyte (2B), Pitts
Walks Fairley 3, Hanton 2, Mack, Roberts, Whyte
Back to back premierships in the bag . . . .who's down for having a crack at a 3-peat???
This week's question - "Do you see a curly top"???
Bonus question – "You down with GM. B. C? Yeah you know me!"
See you in '09, thanks for reading.

First Final VS Ringwood

GMBC 22 Ringwood 10
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
"Incredible! One of the worst performances of the year and they never doubted it for a second."
Last year's prelim final 11 run win against Ringwood was our best game of the season, and you could be fooled into thinking a 12 run win was a better result. Well, I guess it is a better result, but we run the risk of sitting back satisfied that we won easily, when we really should have a look at where we can improve and work on it.
"The question isn't 'What are we going to do,' the question is 'What aren't we going to do?'" As evidenced Saturday, in answer to 'the question' – we aren't going to field, throw or run bases particularly well. Agreed, this might sound a little harsh after a 12 run win in a final, but we CANNOT expect to be this ordinary in the field or on the bases and win a grand final. That said, if we score 22 runs, we can field wearing boxing gloves and punt the ball around the diamond, but we all set higher standards than how we performed, and we need to do the necessary work to ensure we play our best baseball of the season in the grand final. Harsh, but fair. Get ready, be ready.
Fresh faced Chris Whyte, aka Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago, once again took to the hill for the GMBC 3's. Feeling very underdone after missing the last few weeks off skiing in Shibangabang, Whytey got off to a rough start, giving up 3 runs in the first inning. At one stage Stringer called time and strutted out to the mound expecting to offer a few words of encouragement, only to be cut off by Whytey, who confidently stated "Oh, I'm sorry. I can't come off the hill right now. I'm afraid that in my weakened condition, I could take a nasty spill of the mound and subject myself to further finals absences. You can reach Gibbo in his place of business in center field. Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate your concern for my well-being. Have a nice day!" Grant slowly backed away towards 2nd base, never breaking eye contact or moving suddenly. Moments later he understandably queried Keips between pitches "Did he freak out in finals last year?" With the answer quickly coming back "Man, I didn't even try to speak to him once in three games. He did some wacky crap but it kept working. He threw an inning left-handed vs Melb Uni, but it was 3 up 3 down, so I chatted with Pittsy and we agreed, let him do his thing". After the 1st Whytey definitely had a spring in his step, and did a great job, getting loads of ground balls, with quite a few getting through the infield, and a few mistakes from the field, but overall Whytey was outstanding, yet freakishly bizarre. To credit Ringwood, the generally hit the ball pretty hard, but luck didn't seem on our side early, and we didn't make the most of the chances on offer throughout the game.
With the bats. . . well, we went bananas. Everyone got on base at least twice, with 8 of us getting on three times or more – as we racked up 22 runs (21 earned) in 5+ innings, scoring 8 in the 6th dig without an out being recorded, before time and game was called. The game was closer than the final score would indicate, but following a 6 run Monty third inning Ringwood were playing catch-up, though to their credit they did very well in pushing hard all game. Key hits came from Stu, Wayne and Gibbo in the first, Brett Fairley, Grant Mack and Whytey in the third, Brett in the 4th, Gibbo, Touls, Pittsy, Devo, Wayne and Brett in the 5th, with all 9 batters getting on in the 6th.
With everyone bar Sam Hamilton available, selecting a starting nine wouldn't have been easy. Big bad Brendan 'Hansel' Hanton proving to be the unluckiest Monty 3rds player for 2008, with Stringer opting for Toulson to help patrol the Waverley outfield, he did well too, taking a mark that Buddy Franklin would be proud of. It should be noted that last year's 3's 10th man Nick Carlton, played all of this year in the 2's, even getting a run in the 1's (and a few hits), such is the depth of the club. Selection for the GF will be interesting with several people contending for a couple of spots – a good problem for Grant to have.
Hits – Gibson 4 (2 2B), Fairley 3 (HR, 2 2B), Whyte 2 (HR), Devlin 2 (2B), Roberts 2, Keiper 2, Pitts 2, Mack (2B), Toulson
Up next – the winner of Ringwood vs Knox following a week off, where we'll take on the Monty 4's in a practice match. With the Knox boys having knocked off Watsonia in a canter. We've done well so far this season - as we all know getting to play in a grand final is the reward, and something that doesn't come along every season. Let's be ready to play a great game of baseball - have fun and play hard - take it up to whoever gets through this week.

Round 17 VS Footscray

GMBC 16 Footscray 5
Tainted Love
We took on the Doggies in the last game of the regular season, with neither team having much to play for. The boys from the west had jumped up a few grades and held their own in A3, finishing a respectable 6th (not 7th, despite what their website may tell you). As for us, we've been pretty consistent all year, playing good, but not great baseball for the majority of the year, with occasional flashes of brilliance, balanced by some comedy capers and sheer stupidity, which of course made it a fun season.
The game was fairly tight early, with Brett Lloyd threatening to hold us in-check as he did in our early season loss. After a few scoreless innings, we scored 4 in the third, with Gibbo smashing a leadoff triple (unlike the previous 4 weeks he wasn't even close to making the first out of the inning at third), Wayne followed it up with a triple of his own off a high pitch, as an aside, can anyone in A3 handle the high hard stuff like Roberts? Keips then hit a single to score Lettuce Man, quickly followed by a Grant Mack blast over left-center, hitting a tree and three cars, one of them silver.
Dean Hayhow took to the hill to start the 4th, bizarrely coming out of the bullpen to the 1981 Soft Cell classic hit 'Tainted Love'. Most pitchers come into the game to amped up metal or punk songs, ala Billy Wagner/Mariano Rivera entering to Metallica's Enter Sandman, but clearly this Hayhow kid is one strange cat. That said, Kristian Toulson comes out of our pen to Olivia Newton John's 'Physical'. Each to their own I guess. Deano did a good job in his first inning, with a quick 1,2,3 dig punctuated by striking out Lettuce Man on a low fastball. Suck on that Wayne. Unfortunately from that point on Dean's outing became, err, tainted, as he gave up 12 runs in the next 2+ innings.
Meanwhile, Keips was on the hill for us all game, giving up a run or two here or there, but generally keeping things tight in the absence of Chris Whyte, who returned from his New Zealand junket in time to play the last half of the game. Overheard after the game from Whytey "New Zealand was really cool, the scenery and landscape reminded me a lot of Lord of the Rings". . . . Some good work from the infield resulting in a few double plays. One incident discussed after the game needs to be clarified – no one from Footscray runs faster than Walt Flanagan's dog. Sure, someone scored from 2nd on a hit to the outfield, but Footscray's Kevin Parry should have also noted that the throw bounced 7 times on the way to the plate, so let's not smoke a bowl about Footscray's wheels or write an obituary about our OF arms. Sometimes you just don't grip the ball, or at least that's what I'm going with. Run on us again next year – there's a beer in it for you if you make it. Good to know somebody reads these anyway.
During our 12 run barrage, a piece of history went begging. With two out in the 5th, Pittsy smoked a ball to left, which their left-fielder just missed in a half dive/half lunge. Pittsy running hard (well, hard for Pittsy) all the way – rounded second and into third. As he hit third the shortstop (in shallowish left-field) caught the throw in from the outfield. Wisely by all sensory input, Cam Carr held Pittsy at third . . . but was an improbable inside the park HOME RUN a remote chance, for a catcher no less, a possibility? Absolutely. Would he have been thrown out 9 time out of 10, most definitely. Would it have made the day had it come off? You know it.
In the last inning we had some fun and it was nearly on like Donkey Kong. A score check before the inning came back to the bench "We're ahead 12-5, we're up 7". Which Stringer digested as "We're up 12-7". After 4 consecutive hits, with the last being a single by Stringer, Grant thought he'd turn Gibbo and steal 2nd, thinking it was still a 6 or 7 run game, when it was actually 10. Dean "Tainted Love" Hayhow, perhaps justifiably, had a few things to say to Stringer, which initiated an intriguing dialogue, soon resulting in Brendan Hanton getting hit by a 60 mph fastball. Brendan being at least a foot taller than the Tainted Love Machine, moseyed up to first base with a smile, completely unfazed, yet miffed at missing a chance to get his 4th hit in the game. The umpire- a former division 1 coach, and not a bad guy despite the annoying American accent, wisely decided he'd calm things down and politely, yet unofficially warn the pitcher and have a discussion. In doing so, he placed a hand on the pitcher's shoulder resulting in (please tell me you saw this coming) Hayhow piercingly loudly yelping "Don't touch me!" Okay, no-one finished the chorus of Tainted Love, and I doubt there was any teasing involved, but it was ridiculous.
Full credit to the Doggies for hanging around for a few beers after the game despite some good verbal stuff from both sides in the last five minutes. There was never any intent to run up the score or anything like that, though this match report might be marginally over the line. . . .
Hits – Keiper 4 (2 2B), Mack 3 (HR), Hanton 3 (2B), Fairley 3 (2B), Gibson 2 (3B), Roberts 2 (3B), Pitts 2 (3B), Whyte, Jury
Up next – Ringwood at Waverley. 1 vs 2 with a spot in the GF on offer. We've been a little bit subdued the last few weeks, though we did bat well over .500 this week – thankfully it's time once again to get off the porch and run with the big dogs. Bark with me now.

Round 16 VS Melb Uni

GMBC 7 Melbourne University 6
Don't call it a comeback
In a game that apparently summarized their season, Melbourne Uni had us on the ropes and seemingly out of it, yet like an episode of Batman and Robin we found a way out of the deathtrap, with a cliffhanger ending (5 minute rule) narrowly avoided and a Monty victory the unlikely end result. KAPOW!
With Devlin and Whytey off to the tropical island Shibangabang, last year's finals hero and Uni smasher Dave Trumble received a very well deserved call up, and Kristian Toulson got the start on the hill and did a great job – striking out 6 in 4 innings and keeping us right in the game, departing down 4-0, and shaking his head in a bemused fashion at our offence, himself included. Uni hit the ball well, coming up with some clutch two out hits. Keips threw the last 3, giving up two runs, with Uni again hitting well with runners on, and deservedly leading 6-0 entering he bottom of the 7th. SPLAT!
Uni threw Matt Donoghue, who would appear to throw fairly innocuously, but on the day he did a great job of tying us down. In each dig we sent 4 or 5 batters to the plate, yet Matt was good enough to pitch out of what very little trouble he got into, scattering hits and walks and being reasonably well supported in the field, although Yangy had the bobbles. In the bottom of the 7th, we strung a few hits together to load the bases with one out. Brett Fairley then hit a fly ball to centerfield, which Allan Stephens (Deevo) dropped in his haste to throw home, but recovered well to get an out at 2nd. Two out, 6-1 Uni. Grant Mack followed with a shot to right-center, which Deevo unsuccessfully attempted a running basket catch, resulting in another error, albeit not a sitter. Still two out if you're scoring at home, 6-3 Uni, Stringer on 1st base. Kritter then hit a swinging bunt down the third base line, hustling up the line like Usain Bolt being chased by Neil Patrick Harris. Donoghue fielded and threw the ball high and into right field for the third consecutive error, though no-one was clever (or ballsy) enough at the time to mention the hat trick of blunders. 6-4 Uni. Brendan Hanton then smashed a base hit to left to score Kristian, 6-5 Uni, still two outs. Dave Trumble was then hit by a pitch, 1st and 2nd for Keips. Pitching change for Uni, Donoghue out, Yoshikawa in. Double to the fence in left, BH and Trumble both score – cue LL Cool J. BIFF!
Tough loss for MUBC, who should have made the 4 – and with finals around the corner for us a kick in the pants mightn't have been such a bad thing, but despite wearing a glaringly obvious 'kick me' sign for the majority of the game it didn't happen. Sorta like the Tribe Called Quest song from the early 90's – "Can I Kick It" with the repetitive chorus of "Yes you can". Overly polite students. . . Youtube the song, worth a look - $2 if you can tell me what top 10 song the lead rapper Qtip is best known for, without looking it up. Yes, Gibbo, I know you and Whytey were 4 years old at the time, we're all impressed with your youth and ignorance of 90's pop culture references.
Hits – Keiper 2 (2B), Gibson, Roberts, Fairley, Mack, Hanton, Pitts
Up next – Footscray – hander outer of one of our two defeats this season. I think someone is going to 'ride the lightning'. . . . .the smart money is on the doggies.
This week's question – How did Uni beat Watsonia by 22 runs (not a typo, 3 goals 4 behinds) yet lose to Greensborough and Footscray, while having a draw with Heathmont? Nothing against those sides, but for Uni to beat Knox once and Ringwood twice, and to not get over the lower sides it seems odd. I'm not declaring shenanigans, or making allegations of match-fixing, but did you see some of the cars the Uni boys were driving? Audi's and BMWs everywhere. I don't want to risk making slanderous comments, but I'm just saying. . . . .

Round 15 VS Greensborough

GMBC 10 Greensborough 3
Dude, where's my match report?
If you wait almost two weeks to complete a match report, during which time you go to a buck's night and a 21st ON THE SAME NIGHT, you're going to forget what went down, but here goes. . . .
Starting the day off with our annual breakfast at local café Urban Grooves (mysteriously not yet a sponsor of the club) we once again marvelled at everyone's ability to consume a massive meat filled heart starter, with the usual exception being Wayne "just lettuce thanks" Roberts. Highlight for the morning was 16 month old Abigail Keiper eating more bacon than Wayne, and shaking her head with disdain in Wayne's general direction. One to watch.
We started pretty flat, clearly weighed down by $400 worth of breakfast between 12 people. In the third and fourth digs we broke the game open with 3 runs in each inning, with Lettuce Man launching a monster in the 4th and embarrassingly for all concerned, taking the home run lead for the season. Thankfully, he was hit by a pitch in his last at-bat. Wayne later declaring ""Good hitters don't just go up and swing. They always have a plan. Call it an educated deduction. You visualize. You're like a good negotiator. You know what you have, you know what he has, then you try to work it out." Amazing what some people come up with when 90% of their brain isn't focussed on digesting bacon.
Pittsy now officially counting himself as unlucky – being caught on the fence, being caught when hitting a line drive, getting caught hitting a blooper. . . .last seen looking for a live KFC Zinger to sacrifice. Note - it worked, he didn't get out once the following week vs Melb Uni.
Some adventurous baserunning during the game, highlighted by Gibbo's mad dash into third. Devlin looked somewhat worse for wear, and wanted to be referred to by his subcontinent nickname 'Mohammered'. Cam Carr's debut in the 3's another highlight and well deserved given some good form in the 4's and priority on breakfast.
Whytey was his usual strong self on the hill, giving up just one run in the first 6 digs before Greensborough knocked in a couple in the last. All in all a decent win without anyone really getting out of 2nd gear.
Hits – Roberts 2 (HR), Gibson 2 (3B), Hanton 2 (2B), Keiper 2 (2B), Devlin, Mack
Up next – Melbourne Uni – unlucky not to be in the finals mix, with Watsonia now locked into 4th spot.
This week's question – How do you pronounce the word 'fajitas'???

Round 14 VS Watsonia

GMBC 10 Watsonia 5
After a brief drive down Grimshaw Street we took on a more competitive Watsonia, who entered the game sitting 4th, no doubt keen to hold off the grey, black and blue that is Melbourne University, and play finals.
Michael Formisano made the start in the 3's for the Watsonia boys – throwing erratically, but effectively enough until reaching his pitch count after 4 2/3rds innings. We had plenty of baserunners, with 6 hits, a HPB (not Stu) and 6 walks off the starter, but for the first time since round 4 (also against Watsonia) we didn't jack the longball. Might not be such a bad idea to learn how to score 10+ runs without relying on home runs. . . . nah, who am I kidding, what's the point in playing if you're not whomping salamis.
Chris Whyte threw arguably his best game of the year. Unfortunately, two plays which probably went down as hits gifted 4 runs to Watsonia. Firstly, a high popup which should've been the third out in the first inning, that landed 30 feet from home plate led to 2 runs. Reasonable effort from all concerned, but that ball is caught 99 times out of 100. Secondly, a pop fly to shallowish right center, which drifted, and drifted closer to Keiper. . . . yet the statue stood firm. Kristian Toulson nearly pulled off a great running/diving catch coming across from center, but Keips wearing his new Nike Air Cement cleats just took it all in, again gifting Watsonia 2 runs, leaving us down 4-1 after 2 innings. Keips later overheard saying to Grant "I told you I was getting bored out there." I wonder how entertaining the bench will be. . . .
From that point on our defence was very good and Whytey was terrific – throwing strikes and shutting down Watsonia. Some highlights included Brett at third, Grant Mack and Wayne Roberts making the plays as usual, Pittsy again throwing out multiple baserunners, and Stuart Devlin, making a surprise appearance at first base – nearly making the play of the year (which would be saying something) just getting a glove to a blooping foul ball way up the first base line. Some derogatory comments from the Watsonia supporters, in particular Froddo Baggins, ironically about the height of a Monty player, momentarily spiced up proceedings. All a bit of fun.
With the bats we were decent without ever really getting on top, but kept plugging away to lead 6-4 when Formisano shifted to first base, before tacking on another 4 in the last inning through timely hitting and aggressive baserunning. After a few recent games that weren't particularly close after the first 15 minutes, it was good fun to play a game that was competitive for the majority of the day. Highlights with the bat from Brendan Hanton - 1 for 1 with a walk and RBI, Gibbo 1 for 2 with a key leadoff single in the 5th, Wayne Roberts with a triple and a walk, Kristian Toulson 2 for 3 with a walk and 2 RBIs, Whytey with a single, a walk, 2 SBs and some crazy baserunning, and Keips with 3 hits and 3 RBIs - ooh yeah.
Watsonia looked good, with an aggressive, vocal group of young players playing well. Will be a handful in the finals if they get in, but they have a tough draw, with Melb Uni having an easier run home, albeit with a stop out at Monty. Up next, we take on 6th placed Greensborough at Monty following the annual team breakfast – can't wait to see what Wayne eats after 12 months of bagging. Will he stick to his vegan guns or cave under the relentless pressure?
Hits - Keiper 3 (2B), Toulson 2, Roberts (3B), Fairley (2B), Hanton, Gibson, Whyte
This week's thought – Today's game was a great example of how easy it is to give up 4 runs if you aren't switched on – with 3 rounds to go, and everyone fighting for spots in the team, no-one can afford to take a nap during the game. Important to get into finals mode now, rather than waiting until August 30 to try and crank up the engine.

Round 13 VS Heathmont

GMBC 23 Heathmont 3
Stringer spontaneously self-combusts
Much like Napoleon Bonaparte in 1815 (yes Gibbo, the little French dude out of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure) Heathmont went down hard at Waterloo. Waterloo Street as opposed to someplace near Brussells, and yes – I am running low on material.
Heathmont went through 3 pitchers in the first couple of digs, with much the same results – a lot of walks and plenty of hits. I suspect they were missing a few players, as they were better last time, but as one of their boys said after the game – they seemed to throw it onto the bat fairly consistently. Just the one strikeout all game for us – I won't name the culprit, but 'Oh What a Feeling' that would be. . . . For the day we had 18 hits and 12 walks – also helped along by a few miscues in the field making it a pretty dirty day for Heathmont. Devlin and Keips both going long early – with Brendan Hanton hitting several balls very deep to center, but all caught near the fence – probably 3 jacks at Monty, but doughnuts at Heathmont – get around on the heat big fella.
Grant Mack raised a few eyebrows and sent dozens into a panic through spontaneously self combusting around first base after his 4th hit for the day, and 7th in two weeks. Luckily Kristian Toulson and Cam Carr were on hand and knew the stop, drop and roll. . . .Pittsy possibly going overboard in relieving himself on the smouldering Stringer, later saying "I always said I'd piss on you if you were on fire. I never thought it'd happen, but heck, I'm just stoked I didn't get stagefright in front of such a big crowd."
Keips threw strikes with Whytey getting a week off in the outfield, and Heathmont hit the ball pretty well, but often enough straight at our fielders, with Brett starting a 5-4-3 dp, later followed by Kristian Toulson, playing SS for the day in place of Wayne Roberts, rolling one with Grant and over to Sam. Possibly another one on offer later, tipped by Stringer into the outfield leading to a run or two for Heathmont – post-game discussions and measurements showing that Grant has dinosaur arms – freakishly too short for his body. Brett Fairley closed out the game throwing some hard stuff, well supported in the field - Wayne out of his comfort zone on the other side of second base, but handling a routine ground ball with aplomb.
Up next – Watsonia at Watsonia. They've been up and down this season, but are now in the 4 and have won 3 games on the trot – should be a good game.
Hits – Keiper 4 (HR, 2B) Mack 4 (2B), Gibson 3, Devlin (HR), Fairley (2B), Hamilton, Pitts, Roberts, Toulson, Whyte

Round 12 VS Knox

GMBC 17  Knox 10
 
1 vs 2, with top spot potentially on the line.  Knox missing a few players, Monty missing only Ryan Jenkins, rumored to be hitting doubles in the twos, with Gibbo taking his place.
 
We started the day well, with the baseball equivalent of a robust balanced breakfast, Chris Whyte a pretty fly guy in the first not giving up a run, and everyone smashing the slow stuff with the score after 1 inning GMBC 9 Knox 0.  From there the game meandered along for another 90 or so minutes, with anyone batting left-handed for Knox putting one over the fence, and continued good hitting, albeit impatient, from us.  
 
Knox's threw John "Bake" McBride, who took the mound for the Falcons in what Brendan Hanton initially speculated was solely for ceremonial first pitch purposes.  The Knox theory being the softer it's thrown the softer it's hit.  Not true it would appear.   Some of us crushed, some popped out trying, most got plenty of hits/walks.  "Bake" did a good job in getting a few to chase a first pitch head high fastball, but enough of us are mudders – oh this baby loves the slop, loves it, eats it up.  Eats the slop.  Born in the slop.  His father was a mudder, mother was a mudder.  Mother was a mudder?  What did I say?  Err, let's just say we can hit the slop.  Overall a very flat game all around, which was surprising, but a win is a win.  Prime mudders include Brett Fairley – devouring the slop, Grant Mack, who's father (also a mudder) was on-hand, and Wayne Roberts, eating it up.
 
Seen and heard around the 3's this week

• Grant Mack telling a few of the boys that he nearly broke Sam's nose on Wednesday night – with the common response, "Why, what did she say?"
• Gibbo calling a ball in shallow right center and then missing it by 20 feet – we're not even sure why you dove for it, but god-damn it was good value.  To be fair nobody would have caught it anyway, but that was gold.
• Brendan Hanton missing a chance to do the Youtube ballgirl catch – look it up if you haven't seen it
• Keips beaching himself sliding headfirst into 2nd – your hands go in front big guy, not your face.  Is anybody here a marine biologist?
• Kristian Toulson  telling us about his night out – Something about a brand new girl, promising the world, next thing you know she's wearing my Rolex.
• Devlin getting hit by a pitch for the 7th time this season.  It's now hilarious.

All up a good win against a good team, but no-one's getting carried away (except maybe Pittsy), noting that we haven't yet played Knox with their full team.  Up next Heathmont - please don't call yourselves Monty again, I've got a massive night scheduled Friday and it's far too confusing.

.

Round 11 VS Ringwood

Ringwood 8 GMBC 4
Great game of baseball – if you play for Ringwood. On a chilly afternoon we headed out to Proclamation Park and despite listening to the Flight of the Conchords on the trip out completely forgot our business socks. Only Ringwood seemed to know it was business time. There we were in the bathroom brushing our teeth, sorting out the recycling and wearing that old baggy t-shirt we got from our work, thinking that business time only happened Wednesday night. . .of course Tuesday night's the night we go and visit your mother, but Wednesday night is the night we get down to business. Cause everything is just right, there's nothing on tv, conditions are perfect. But Saturday afternoon? Damn, that's prime business time too baby!
Righto, enough nonsense for a second – without doubt the big difference on the day would be fielding. Chris Whyte and Ringwood's Rhys Hopper (yes, Devo, I know what they call a hopper in the States) both threw well, but Ringwood made some great plays and we missed some routine ones. In clearly out-fielding us Ringwood did a great job in limiting our scoring opportunities while we handed a few out on silver platters. Taking nothing away from Ringwood, they probably out-hit us too, but if we catch the ball like we can we'll be tough to beat. Good defence on the day to Pittsy, without doubt the best catcher in A3, Grant, Sam, Gibbo and Brendan Hanton, reminiscent of Brett Fairley, in throwing out a runner at third. Note to most – don't run on our outfield unless you're faster than Walt Flanagan's dog.
With the bats we were okay, but struggled to land a death-blow. Devlin starred – smashing a lead-off triple and racking up 3 hits for the day, with useful contributions from Whytey, Wayne, Sam, Keips, Ryano and Grant. Pittsy very unlucky having smashed one down the line only for Ringwood's Peter Rogers to make a diving play and solid throw for the out – though no style points for checking his glove and looking surprised to see the ball there, but a handy play nonetheless. With the bat a few of our bigger guns didn't fire, but you can't always hang with the big dog.
Nice win to Ringwood, who thoroughly deserved the points and are now a game clear of Melbourne Uni and Watsonia. Should be a good game if we run into each other in the finals.
While we didn't always fully agree with the club umpire, a clear highlight for the game was one Ringwood hitter, after taking a called third strike, which looked to be rather rotund (the pitch not the batter), going bananas like a spoiled toddler on Nanny 911. Unasseptable..
Wayne Roberts overheard after the game "Heck, we didn't lose to these guys last time when I was coaching, and we were missing half the team. I'm not saying I'm a better coach than Grant, but maybe, just maybe the results speak for themselves." Dale Gibson seemingly putting the debate to rest stating "Man, this is crazy. I just want to crush baseballs. No way Wayne could lead this team full time - I'm not playing for a vegetarian. I once saw Stringer eat two hot dogs in-between pitches, that's leadership right there."
Hits – Devlin 3 (3B), Keiper (HR), Roberts (2B), Mack, Hamilton, Jenkins
Up next- Knox yet again at Monty. 1 vs 2, with top spot potentially on the line. Corker.
This week's question – Will Wayne bat at number 9 after his not-too-subtle leadership challenge?

Round 10 VS Footscray

GMBC 16 Footscray 1
Doggies kicked -RSPCA not amused.
Following our loss to Footscray in Round 7 we were keen to make amends - so much so, that Devlin, Jenkins and Keiper all took the week off. They were replaced by Gibbo, Brett Fairley and Kristian Toulson, who had 8 hits and a walk between them. Useful.
Whytey took his usual position on the mound and was almost untouchable. Showcasing his brand new pitch - which he calls "Gary", he sat down a virtual conga line of perplexed Footscray hitters. One overheard to say "Man that Gary pitch is somethin', is that even legal putting the ball down there in-between pitches?" Not sure at what stage it happened as I wasn't there, but Gary was eventually and thankfully put over the fence for a solo home run, mercifully ending Whytey's constant references to his new found friend.
With the bat, we were inspired. Whytey lead off, working a patient first pitch fly-out to left field. Wayne Roberts hit the 2nd pitch over the fence for a home run. Gibbo took a ball, and then hit a strike for a hard base hit to center. BH had a long at bat before grounding out, and then the unthinkable happened - Grant Mack went long, presumably weezing like Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle after running more than 90 feet for the first time this season. Brett Fairley then followed with a home run of his own - 4 zip Monty after 1. 4 up 3 down in the 2nd, with Pittsy our only baserunner through getting on base through landing a walk. In the 3rd we batted around - Gibbo leading off with a single and a stolen base - getting to third on a wild pitch and then scoring on Brendan Hanton's RBI ground out. Grant smacked a double - later admitting to taking up goat herding and finger painting with Wayne over the past few days. Brett followed with a walk, Kristian Toulson ripped a double to left to score Grant, before Sam hit a sac fly to right to score Brett. Pittsy kept things going with a double off the fence in center, scoring off Whytey's double off the fence in left. Wayne Roberts, all too aware that Wayne's World was not a trilogy, grounded out to short to finish the dig. 9-zip Monty, unless of course Gary had been hit over the fence by this stage - let's go with that, 9-1 Monty after 3. Nothing doing for us in the 4th, with 3 up 3 down, but we went silly in the 5th scoring 7 runs through singles to Brett and Kristian, Sam working a walk, A Glen Pitts double scoring Brett and Kritter - this time off the left field fence, Whytey and Wayno going out with Sam scoring on Wayne's ground out. Gibbo got his third hit of the game, followed by a BH single (no bombs against Footscray big guy, your streak is over), and a Grant Mack walk loaded the bases for Brett Fairley - who scored everyone with a double off the silver monster - 16 to 1 Monty. In the last we only managed a two out single from Whytey.
Excellent stuff from the Footscray crew in hanging around for a few Crown Lagers after the game. The Doggies had a few different players from the team that donkey punched us earlier this season. Coming into the game they were just one win (plus percentage) out of the 4, so no doubt they'll be looking forward to playing us again in Round 17.
Hits - Fairley 3 (HR, 2B), Gibbo 3 (all singles, get a personal trainer Annie), Mack 2 (HR, 2B), Pitts 2 (2 2B), Toulson 2 (2B), Whyte 2 (2B), Roberts (HR), Hanton
Up next - a week off followed by Ringwood at Ringwood - yes, East Link is finished.
This week's question - Who isn't hot right now, and will it carry over after a week off???

Round 9 VS Knox

GMBC 14 Knox 1
Wayne's World 2
In a grand final rematch we headed out to Knox with a bare nine, missing a few regulars in Kristian Toulson (getting an all-over camouflage on his body before paintball), Dale Gibson (boxing lesson after having his ipod, jeans and dignity stolen by three teenage girls on the Hurstbridge Line) and Brett Fairley (still out with an injured right hand from a "golfing" mishap).
A cold and wet day out at the field near Ausport, with a few new faces amongst the Knox boys, and the ever reliable Ricey umpiring the game adding intrigue and mystery to what already shaped to be a close contest.
Devlin got us off to yet another great start, with a long at bat finished off with a line drive single. Wayne, haunted by a dream the night before about Jim Morrison and a half-naked Indian, promptly wacked one over the left field wall, appearing to be a meter or two fair as it went over the fence, hooking and landing around 50 feet over the fence and a foot or two foul. This is always a contentious call in the absence of 100 foot foul-poles, but when adjudged to be foul there was more than one raised eyebrow and audible query "when did you turn into a nutbar"? Thankfully, order was restored thanks to a couple of the Knox boys doing the right thing, and to be fair it's not an easy call from the middle. Keips followed with a base hit and stole second, before Grant hit a LAY-ZERR beam single to the fence in left-center, eventually being called out later in the inning diving back into 3rd.
Chris Whyte got the start and easily pitched his best game of the season – going 6 innings and not giving up a single earned run. Lots of ground balls, with only one or two well hit balls all day. Keips dropped a catchable ball in the first, but Whytey was good enough to get a fourth out in the inning through Wayne Roberts. Wayne and Whytey starred on the day, with Whytey getting 10+ ground ball outs – Wayne getting 6 or 7, Ryan and Garth a few each. Knox's only run coming in the 4th inning following the only blemish to Wayne's day – a wild throw to first giving Knox a baserunner that later scored on a sac-fly to left.
With the bat we kept focused all game, with Keips almost atoning for his muffed fly with a 2 out three run homer in the 2nd, Wayne, despite not enjoying any "house-sitting bacon"- the best kind, ending up with 4 hits, Devlin got hit by a pitch for the 6th time this season, later offering a slab to anyone who can get hit half as many times as he does this year, Ryan Jenkins launched a 3-run monster, Hanton hit a double and later challenged Stringer to a Darren Lehmann vs Mark Richardson style footrace, Sam Hamilton's RBI ground-out and aggressive baserunning also offensive highlights, along with her 3rd HPB of the season, on track for a slab. . . .
Calls from the outfield "He's got wood!" somehow got funnier as the day wore on. RJ and Wayne both regularly answering questions from the outfield of "What's he got?" with "He's got wood!" Devlin's giggles audible on our bench. Yes, you had to be there.
Overheard by Whytey before the game - So there, I am, in Scoresby, formerly Knoxfield, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Pittsy won't catch this afternoon. So, Cam Carr pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, Brendan Hanton, and Gibbo, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopkeeper and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them into submission with their own shoes. Nasty business, really, but sure enough I got the M&Ms, and Pittsy went behind the dish and did a great job.
Hits – Roberts 4 (HR), Jenkins 2 (HR), Keiper 2 (HR), Mack 2, Hanton (2B), Devlin
Up next – Footscray at GMBC, with the Doggies as yet unbeaten against the big 3 Monty Machine.

Round 8 VS Greensborough

GMBC 16 Greensborough 5
Hanton - He's So Hot Right Now
Fresh from picking the Phar Lap of mice to take out the 2008 Mouse Cup, Brendan"Hansel" Hanton sauntered down to the house that Blair built sporting a red beard and a grin that said to all "I can't find my razor, but I haven't really looked". Gibbo later remarked "That dude looks like Fanta Claus". Unoriginal to some, clever and innovative to most.
We haven't played Greensy in 60+ weeks thanks to some bizarre scheduling last year where we played the Burras in round 1, and didn't play them again all season, and, uh, a rainout a few weeks ago. Greensborough started well (as I think almost every team has done this season) with a couple of runs in the first dig off Keips - highlighted by a line drive off the silver monster center field fence, 6 inches to the right from missing the 25 foot fence and being a home run onto the road, with the Spudman from Greensborough outdoing Stringer in hitting the hardest/farthest single of the season thus far.
We responded well, with Devlin lining a single to left field, and later scoring on Keiper's two out home run. From there Keips threw slower and lower as he transitioned from drunk to hungover, and Greensborough kept hitting into double plays – with Devlin juggling a ground ball like a clown in red shoes before punting it over to Wayne, who completed the double with a bounce throw to Sam who showed off better hands than George Costanza – a clear standout in the field all day.
From 2-2 after the first, it was all Monty. Whytey, Kritter, Hansel, Devlin, Keiper and Mack all with multiple hits and multiple RBIs - with Whytey, Brendan, Kritter and Keips getting out a grand total of twice between them for the whole game. Handy. Everyone who played a full game got on base at least once – with our 16 runs on the day helped along by Greensborough's defence making a few two-out mistakes.
Our pitching was okay – Keips had some luck getting a few double plays and hard outs at fielders, with Whytey throwing well in relief, unlucky to have a few ground balls go through the infield, but also having some luck with a couple of well hit balls straight at our fielders.
A defensive highlight of the game for us was Wayne Roberts fielding a ground ball in the hole at short, and being sniped by Kristian Toulson. We now know why Wayne doesn't play a contact sport, as he went down quicker than a White House intern in the mid-90's, but somehow got the throw off to first, and the out, while being run over by the K-Train. Will be interesting to see Wayne's response next time Kritter settles under an infield pop-up . . . . The smart money is on Kritter. Crazy play though.
Hits – Keiper 2 (2 HR), Hanton 2 (2B), Whyte 2, Devlin 2, Toulson 2 (3 if you count the hit on Wayne), Mack 2, Roberts.
Up next – the GF rematch against Knox at Knox. Should be a hum-dinger – hopefully they have orange mocha frappuccionos.
This week's question - if Hanton is Hansel, does that make Gibbo Zoolander??? Could be yet another nickname . . . . "What is this, a centre for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to read if they can't even fit inside the building?"

Round 7 VS Footscray

Footscray 9 GMBC 8
The Sixth Sense
Much like the 1999 Bruce Willis movie 'The Sixth Sense' our game on Saturday produced a finish that most watching/participating would not have anticipated.
Without question we were flat - we have a long history of going through the motions against the bottom sides, usually just doing enough to get across the line - not this time! Whatever it is we need to get rid of it - year after year some of the other teams in this comp seem to rack up some big wins against the bottom sides, yet we rarely blow them out of the water. All that said, we would have thought (prior to the last 5-10 minutes of the game) that we'd done enough to get the points and remain on top of the ladder.
We had a fairly slow start to the game, with the Doggies taking an early 2-0 lead after we made a few mistakes in the field and they were good enough to capitalize through a few clutch hits. Some good catches in the outfield by Dave Trumble and Stu Devlin, along with a handy play by Grant Mack at second kept things from getting out of hand. Whytey was his usual self throwing very well - albeit for only 4 innings this time, before handing the ball over to Kristian Toulson. We hit well at times without luck, with Devlin, Mack and Keiper hitting line drives straight at fielders, with Stringer doing some damage to the evergreen Brett Lloyd, Footscray's starting pitcher. Not sure how many times we struck out, but it was more than 2 or 3 which is way too many in a 6 inning game against a pitcher not throwing hard. Sam Hamilton starred on the day with 3 ringing hits, the first of them jump starting us in the 3rd, quickly followed by hits to Pittsy, Devo and a ripping double to Wayne "I Am The Secretary" Roberts. Brendan Hanton later put one over the fence, for his second of the season and 10th at Footscray, as did Kristian Toulson late in the game to seemingly put the result out of doubt. RJ's early double also a highlight.
Footscray were pretty good - trying a few things including a hit and run and a bunt - both worked. They did a good job in the field for the most part, and had a few chances to score snuffed out by hitting balls pretty hard but to the field. We lead 8-3 going into the last inning, with Kristian on the mound having shut out Footscray the previous dig, when things got wacky. The Doggies strung together a series of walks (on pitches that looked borderline from my ideal vantage point, 300 feet away in left field), solid, well hit singles and we made an error to help them along, before Grant took to the hill with the game 8-7 Monty, and runners on base and nobody out - a few pitches later Footscray hit the front after a wild pitch/passed ball or two and a clutch single to score the winning run. Unfortunately as far as Footscray are concerned, the game continued resulting in the next batter striking out, and the one after getting hit by a pitch - not sure if there was any damage, but judging by the size of the ice pack it didn't tickle. Great win to Footscray coming from behind to score SIX runs in the SIXTH inning. Spooky. Good turnout in the Doggies clubrooms after the game - looking forward to returning the hospitality in a few weeks when we play again.
Hits - Hamilton 3, Hanton 2 (HR), Jenkins 2 (2B), Roberts 2 (2B), Toulson (HR), Devlin, Pitts
This week's question - Is everyone trying to hit bombs?

Round 6 VS Knox

GMBC 10 Knox 3
Dialling Long Distance More Times than a Mumbai Call Center
Big game against last year's grand final opponent, with a few new faces on both teams, and a perfect day for baseball. A couple of changes from previous weeks, with Brett Fairley a late withdrawal after injuring his hand allegedly checking his swing a few weeks ago, Dave Trumble off doing a fun run to raise funds and awareness of polyorchidism, and Grant Mack defying doctor Amy's orders of staying in bed and having lots of fluids (not as fun as it sounds, he had pneumonia), we took the field. Whytey received a pregame rev-up from Sick Boy, encouraged to hit the ground running, and for the most part he did. After getting into a little bit of trouble early, following a walk he gave up a 1 out double down the line causing Devlin a few issues in left field, Whytey quickly then retired the next two hitters to close out Knox. Knox's lefty threw some wacky pitches, with his fastball tailing away from our hitters despite a low arm angle, causing a few awkward swings the first time through the order with a few exceptions. One being Ryan Jenkins, who can, and no doubt will, tell his newborn son Patrick that his first swing of a bat after the birth of his first born was a home run. Congratulations again Ryan to both yourself and Narelle, super news. Great to hear you're getting sleep and it's going relatively smoothly at home RJ, but I hope you didn't jinx yourself, after all, you don't talk about a no-hitter during the game. Back to Saturday - RJ's big hit over the silver monster in right center put us up 2-0. We threatened over the next few digs, as did Knox, who pushed a couple across the plate and tied the game after 2 or 3 digs, prompting Grant to launch into one of the most inspiring mid-game speeches heard at Monty "The thirds are the heart of GMBC. We win, it beats. We lose, it breaks. You're not blocking balls in the dirt Pittsy, you're my brick wall baby, I want you bulletproof. Roberts, I need you to D-up out there, you haven't fielded a ball in weeks. I want you all over that ball like a fat kid on a cupcake. Keips - what are you looking at? Your mom called. She said you left your arm at home." Minutes later we were up 5-3 courtesy of a Chris Whyte 3 run home run and wondering if Grant was having an allergic reaction to penicillin. Wayne also later responding with our third home run of the day, a 2 run shot over left center, with the theme of the day seemingly that both teams would threaten, with Knox not getting the 2 out hits, and Monty hitting one over/off the fence. Without doubt, the game was closer than the scoreline would indicate, no doubt Knox will play better next time around, but we certainly didn't play our best game either, with 4 of us going hitless on the day. Thanks to the Knox boys for hanging around after the game for a few beers and shenanigans with Ricey's bag that he left behind. I wonder if he's found the surprise . . . .Some highlights - Pittsy throwing out yet another runner stealing, Whytey's all around great game, especially his last 2-3 digs on the mound, and all day with the bat including 4 RBIs, 4 RBIs too for RJ to go with a shot to the box, early key hits from Grant and Wayne - along with RJ and Whytey's home runs when the game was close, 6 home run trots on display, but only 3 went over the fence - Whytey and Keips at least getting doubles from their deep shots to left, with Sick Boy unlucky to be caught, Wayne finally getting a play at shortstop and unfortunately getting the out, solid defence all around, with the outfield lead by Kristian Toulson particularly good, Devlin twice getting hit by a pitch, to give him 4 already this winter, thankfully it's only 364 more days until hockey season.
Up next - Footscray . . . lookout Doggies.
Hits Jenkins 3 (HR, 2B), Roberts 3 (HR), Whyte 2 (HR, 2B), Keiper 2 (2B), Mack 2
This week's question - when are we going to play international before the game? Surely Hanton and Fairley will be clueless.

Round 5 VS Greensborough

Washed Out.

Round 4 VS Watsonia

GMBC 15 Watsonia 2
The Throw - Volume 1
In what looked like being a close game a week or so ago when Watsonia were undefeated and had not yet been beaten by Melbourne Uni by 20+ runs, we accounted for the Saints (Watsonia, not Ringwood, East Belmont or the original, St Kilda) without much difficulty. Watsonia played well against us last year, and a close contest was expected - especially with Chris Whyte and Stuart Devlin both unavailable starring in the opening matinee of the Eltham community theatre production of Police Academy 4 - Citizens on Patrol. Lookout Broadway.
Keips took to the hill for the first time this winter, and pitched effectively for 6 innings before handing the ball to Kristian Toulson, who closed out the game with a quick last inning. Our defence was again a little sloppy early, with a few infield fumbles, but we switched on and made the plays when it mattered with Ryan Jenkins handling a few hot chances at 3rd with runners on base, and Grant Mack solid at 2nd. The outfield, was, bananas. Dave Trumble in left and Brendan Hanton in right both made several running catches, but Brett Fairley was just plain silly in center. Some solid catches early, but with two outs in the 6th inning and a runner on first, Watsonia hit a ball to the fence in right center - sometimes at Monty that ends up a single, but you'd back anybody to go 1st to 3rd with 2 outs on a ball to the fence in the gap - not this time. Brett launched a throw on the full from the fence, hitting a smiling Ryan Jenkins in the chest in plenty of time to tag out the unlucky Watsonia baserunner for the 3rd out. Sure, we fined him $5 for not hitting his cutoff, but we'll struggle to see a better throw/play for the rest of the season. To top it off he took a leaping catch in the last inning up against the fence in straight-away center, probably saving a home run. Dave Trumble later describing it as the best catch he's ever seen, which is crazy talk, but it was a great catch. Who's Gibbo???
With the bats we were pretty good, but not at our best. Watsonia's up and coming Blake Pendlebury threw pretty well at times, but we put together some handy 2 out rallies to push the game out of reach, but to score 15 runs not firing on all cylinders is a good effort. The game meandered along after the first half - Watsonia even stopped holding runners on down 9-2 with almost an hour to go, but we generally did okay in staying semi-switched on for the rest of the game. Free beer and doughnuts to Wayne Roberts, Ryan Jenkins, Brett Fairley, Grant Mack, Glenn Pitts and Brendan Hanton for getting key hits early. No doubt Watsonia will be keen to show us what they can do next time, but we were happy to avoid hearing the Red Rooster jingle for the second time in one day.
Hits - Jenkins 3 (2B), Roberts 2 (2 2B), Fairley 2 (2B), Mack 2, Pitts 2, Hanton (2B), Hamilton, Keiper
Up next - Greensborough. Not having their best start in A3, but then again we started 2007 1-3 before building momentum into the finals. Important we continue to approach each game as if free beer and doughnuts are on offer for playing well.
This week's question - why do so many baseball teams around Melbourne have a Saint for a mascot? Okay we have the Monty bird, which I think is a cross bred Magpie/Oriole - (Orgpie?), but I don't see the appeal of the Saints. Anyone know???

Round 3 VS Heathmont

GMBC 14 Heathmont 5
After an exhausting, undefeated two week road trip, the Greenhills Montmorency Baseball Club 3's finally headed to Malcolm Blair reserve for their home opener to take on Heathmont. New players Brett Fairley and Brendan Hanton marvelled at the silver monster in right, overheard to say "When are the GMBC hats and uniforms arriving?" Heathmont's 3's haven't been in the finals hunt over the past few years, but a few younger players mixed in with quite a few familiar older faces would indicate some improvement in the lower sides down Waterloo Street.
We started well, with some accurate tennis ball throws finding their mark in the pre-game warmup, and Brett quickly displaying a high level of comfort with his new club by arriving on Adelaide time, as I'm told he's known to do. Grant juggled the lineup as he'll have to do all year with an abundance of players at the club - sitting Dave Trumble and resting Sam Hamilton, who was injured during the week. Whytey took to the hill, full of confidence after playing very well the previous week and finding blue shoe polish in the bargain bin the previous Sunday at the Greensborough market. A quick first inning from Whytey followed by 2 quick Greenhills Montmorency Baseball Club (will explain later) runs, saw us take the lead 2-0 after 1, with confidence high, repeat - confidence is high. Things quickly went pear shaped in the 2nd, with Whytey walking the leadoff and giving up a home run, followed by 2 more home runs, including a kid's first ever senior jack, leaving us suddenly down 5-2. Heathmont didn't look like getting out in the 2nd, with the 3 outs all coming from good plays - Keips took a good running catch in right, Pittsy gunned down a runner at 2nd, and Kritter took a great diving catch in left to finish the dig.
From there it was all Greenhills Montmorency Baseball Club. We scored 12 unanswered runs over the next 5 digs, and Whytey found another gear to shutout Heathmont for the rest of the game - with a defensive highlight from Pittsy - who for the second time in the game threw a runner out at second, gifting us an out, when Heathmont were threatening to get back into the game in the 3rd. Heathmont's relief pitcher impressing all with his Chris Whyte signature edition blue shoes. "You're my boy Blue!" Defence was solid, but 3-4 outs went begging and we all know we can do better. Wayne may have well sat down all day -like Erkel on spring break, he got nothing.
Offensive highlights - Stu Devlin with 2 hits and 4 RBIs including hitting a laser over the fence for a 3 run home run - now rumored to be sleeping with his bat behind his glove's back. Grant Mack also with 2 hits and 4 RBIs (but no SAC!!), Keips and Wayne Roberts with multiple hits, Whytey with a 2 RBI double, Pittsy with an RBI single and a walk, along with Kristian Toulson with a hit and a walk.
Post game highlight - Dave Trumble and Sam Hamilton's word for word rendition of Snoop Dogg's Gin and Juice, complete with coordinated dance moves. Who knew?
Heard during the game, from the Heathmont 3rd baseman and shortstop, during a Greenhills Montmorency Baseball Club batting dig "Come on Monty"....WTF??? There's only one Monty, and you AINT IT. We be Monty, you be Heathy . . .RECOGNISE.
Hits Keiper 3 (3B), Devlin 2 (HR), Roberts 2, Mack 2, Whyte (2B), Fairley, Toulson, Pitts.
This week's question - Where did Disco and Keips get "Horns Nips Cones . . . .Metalshop?" and why doesn't Fairley join in??

Round 2 VS Ringwood

GMBC 13 Ringwood 12
Saturday we ventured out to Proclamation Park to take on the boys in teal, which was without question THE sports fashion color of the early/mid nineties. Resplendent as the opposition were, we faced a tough task taking on a team we hadn't beaten during the regular season over the past two years. A task made more difficult with Grant, Pittsy, Trumble and Keiper all away in Sydney touring with their reformed KISS tribute band. While I hear the groupies and shows were outstanding - the Monty 3's put on quite a show of their own, albeit with very few groupies involved, though I hear Sam Hamilton brought an entourage of support.
Onto the game. . . .note - due to not actually being there my recollection of the events may differ significantly from fact. Whytey took to the hill and controlled the game early, backed by some outstanding plays at second base from Disco Stu Devlin, who, rumor has it, now sleeps with his glove. Ryan Jenkins caught a solid game, with the defence backing up Whytey for the first half of the game, but failing to grab a few half chances late allowing Ringwood to gradually get back into the game. Credit to the Saints, they kept clawing back and perhaps were unlucky to not share/steal the points at the end of the day.
Much like our defence, offensively we were outstanding early, but lacked discipline later in the game and failed to extend the lead and blow the game open. Some great individual performances with 5 Monty hitters with multiple hits, lead by Sam Hamilton (3 hits and HPB) and Cam Jury (2 hits) who were called in to replace the KISS boys - well done too to Cam in playing his 100th game for the club. Brett Fairley, Ryan Jenkins also with multiple hits, with Ryano starring in driving in 4 runs on the day, but the 3 votes went to Chris Whyte, who in addition to pitching well the entire game, hit a double and a 3 run home run. I haven't heard the details of the bomb, so I'll presume it landed only a few feet over the fence. Not just a glove man, Disco Stu also contributed with the bat, with a double, Sac Fly and HPB from 4 plate appearances.
Acting coach on the day Wayne Roberts later stating "Today was all about leadership. Sure, I didn't swing the bat like last week, but when you're focussed on getting the best out of your team, sometimes your own performance takes a back seat. I had this team whipped into a frenzy before the game, and perhaps we peaked a little early and ran out of gas, but a win against a genuine finals contender AT their field, isn't something that happens every day. Could Grant or Keiper have done the same? That's not for me to say. I'm not saying I'm a better coach than Grant, but we have one win each. . . . "
Hits Fairley 3 (2B), Hamilton 3, Whyte 2 (HR, 2B), Jenkins 2 (2B), Jury 2, Devlin (2B), Hanton
This week's question - How do you fit 14 good players into 9 spots?

Round 1 VS Melb Uni

GMBC 10 Melbourne Uni 7
Wayne's World
As promised by Mark Morrison in 1996, the Mack returned. With the majority of the 2007 premiership team also back on board, new/returning players Kristian Toulson, Brett Fairley and Brendan Hanton - combined with several very good players waiting in the 4's big things should be expected again from the Monty 3's. That said, we need to be mindful that expectations don't translate into wins without consistent enthusiasm, application and intensity. Good luck this winter to Gibbo and Nick Carlton - now playing in the twos - and Adam McLean, rumored to be playing footy.
After sustaining mild car-lag following the lengthy drive to Melbourne Uni's new ground at St Kilda, we were a fairly flat unit early. Perhaps it was going over the Bolte Bridge, the magnificent looking field and facilities, or the steady flow of magically babelicious scenery around the picturesque Albert Park - whatever it was we certainly weren't 100% switched on. Pre-game highlight came from Grant "Garth?" Mack asking Brett Fairley "did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played girl bunny"? Awkward, awkward times. Onto the game - we got off to a decent start with Devo banging out our first hit of the season, followed by hits to Keips, RJ and Critter. Melbourne Uni quickly answered with a 250 odd foot home run to right-field, setting the tone for how several runs would be scored over the game. Whytey pitched pretty well, but gave up 3 home runs, all to the ridiculously short right field. We didn't play our best defence either, with a few missed chances early in the game making the scoreline closer than perhaps it could have been. With the game tied up following a clutch RBI Sac Fly from Critter and hit to Dave Trumble - Wayne stepped up to the plate and definitely smelled bacon or a pork product of some kind, and launched a 3 run shot to deep, deep left field - party on Wayne. Brendan Hanton then obliterated a ball to left center with his first swing for the club, launching a monster to Milwaukee, which is Algonquin for "the good land". Wayne later hit a line drive just over the short porch in right center, which was correctly and fairly ruled to be a homer by the Uni centerfielder, giving Wayne his second homer of the game. Wayne normally reserves his home runs for finals, but perhaps the alternative off-season training regimen of goat herding and finger painting actually worked. Irrespective, Wayne Roberts stole the show in the season opener - overheard after the game stating "I felt kinda funny today, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.' Yikes. Nice work to Garth in closing out the game - interesting noise when he hit the Uni CF in the back leg with a pitch too.
Some highlights - Pittsy's defence, blocking well and throwing out a runner, Garth's relief gas, Devo's aggressive baserunning, Keips and Pittsy combining on a 3-2-3 double play, Devo's touchdown and spike of the ball, Gmack's 3rd base coaching, Wayne's new pants - like a brand new pair of underwear - at first, they're constrictive, but after a while, they become a part of you. . . .
Hits - Wayne 2 (2HR), Devlin 2 (2B), Hanton (HR), Keiper (2B), Jenkins, Fairley, Trumble, Toulson. Pits

Up next - we take on the boys in teal out in Ringwood - is East Link finished??

2007

A Thirds

Grand Final: VS Knox

GMBC 8 Knox 7
Mission accomplished. The first premiership for the Monty 3's in 19 years . . 1988, Adam and Mitch weren't even born . . Nick Carlton was a 5 foot toddler, Pittsy and Wayne were learning to dance the 'bus-stop' in créche, Trumble and Keips were 16 years old and riding chariots to high school, and the hits of the day were Guns n' Roses "Sweet Child of Mine" and Samantha Fox's insightful number "Naughty Girls Need Love Too". After an up and down season we found form at the right time of the year, and ran the table in the finals and finished off by beating the top side Knox in their backyard, an extremely satisfying win over a very good team. Not many teams finish fourth and win three on the trot to take the biscuits. How do you like 'dem biscuits???
Knox threw their big young lefty, Cody Hamm. After the brekky a few weeks ago where we ate tons of pork, there are plenty of lines about eating Hamm for breakfast. For most of the first inning, it looked to be on the cards. Whytey lead off with a walk, StuDog did the same. First pitch to Keips was a wild pitch, the next one a single to left field to score both. 2 zip Monty. After a walk to RJ, followed another to Gibbo – we could just about put an apple in the kids mouth and put him on a spit – he looked done. He then struck out Dave, Pittsy and Wayne in fairly quick succession – showing off a fastball a few clicks quicker than we've seen, along with a sharp curve. Over his three innings he struck out 6 or 7, walked 7 or 8, including a clutch 2 out, bases loaded walk to Adam McLean which put us up 3-0. All in all he was a handful, but when he left after throwing close to his pitch limit of 100 (yes, nearly 100 pitches in 3 digs) we'd definitely let him off the hook missing several big chances to blow the game open early. A defensive highlight for us early was from Wayne Roberts, the Gangster of Glove, who made a lunging backhand play on a hard smash to short, and then threw the runner out from the seat of his pants - so much for a sore arm. . . Knox pegged one back in the bottom of the 3 rd, before we scored 3 in the 4th off a reliever. Whytey started the dig with a walk, Devo lined one into center-field, then stole 2nd with Whytey stealing home on the throw to 2nd. Ryan Jenkins then landed a big blow - a line-drive home run to left to put us up 5 runs. Clutch hits all year and a clutch home run in the grand final. You're money and you know it baby. Up 6-1 Knox responded with a series of hits and patient batting. Nothing was crushed, but a mix of solid singles and some ground balls and miss-hits which kept avoiding our fielders and first Knox got back in the game, and then took the lead – up 7-6 after 4 innings. We'd dominated most of the game, yet found ourselves behind. Funny how that can happen when you don't grab your chances. Two quick outs to start the top of the 5 th wasn't the ideal response. A walk to Keips, followed by walk on a good at bat by Ryan and we were in business. Enter the Gibbotron, who, with his 21st birthday party cleverly scheduled that evening, hit a hard flat shot over the center-fielder's head to score 2, to give us back the lead. From there Whytey shut down Knox for the final two digs for us to win the game. A little tight in the last inning - after getting two quick outs, Knox drew a walk and then a hit, to have runners on 1st and 2nd with 2 out, but the game finished with Whytey getting their right-fielder out on a weak grounder to first - Keips showed off hands slightly better than Bill Buckner and stepped on the bag to start the party. Sure, most of the team didn't know the game was over, but everyone figured it out when Pittsy and Wayne started doing the Macarena.
Thanks to all the boys (and Sam) on a great season and tremendous finals campaign. Special mention to Grant Mack, who's leadership over previous years left it's mark on the team. Pity he couldn't cut it in the 3's and had to play in a 1's premiership. I appreciate y'all putting up with me this season - I had a blast. Hope to see you all back in pinstripes next year. Let's dominate in '08 (you heard it here first). Next year's hit song - "Return of the Mack"???
Final question of the year - how on earth did Gibbo get Alyssa Milano's little sister to his 21st???

Prelim Final: VS Ringwood

GMBC 15 Ringwood 4
The team was angry that day my friend, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.
We touched up a team by 11 runs which had beaten us twice during the regular season. With all respect to Ringwood, on the day it was complete carnage. All the usual suspects batted with purpose - not just a bunch of shots pulled to left - hits to all fields, walks, bunts, wearing the inside pitch for a HPB, everything except catcher's interference. Strange things were afoot at the Circle K, and it was beautiful. Too many hits to name, like a 50's radio dj - the hits just kept on coming. Defensively we were equally outstanding, giving Ringwood virtually nothing all day, with the infield, lead by RJ, Wayne and Disco fielding the routine as well as the spectacular. The outfield was solid, but no speckies this week, none on offer though. Top marks to Whytey and Pittsy - lots of strikes thrown and a super job to snuff out any rallies by bearing down with runners on base. All in all a very good win against a quality team. We are officially up and about. . . . . though I'm pretty sure we didn't start the year to play in the grand final, let's stay aggressive, covered in dirt and have fun winning it.
Knox at Knox, with a perfect 20 degree day forecast. Sounds like fun.
This week's question - is asking someone to drive you to the pub an invitation to join them?

First Final: VS Melb Uni

GMBC 15 Melbourne University 10
Whytey’s 21’st the night before the first final . . . . great idea! Awesome party with useful scenery, and plenty to laugh about the next day in warm-up. We’ll all be over again this Friday Whytey.
Uni started off strong, taking a 3-0 lead early. Gibbo and Trumble kicked things off for us in the second, with Pittsy, Wayne and Adam contributing early to see us take a 6-3 lead. Later in the field, with two outs and nobody on, Devo took one in the balls at 2nd base, which not surprisingly, everyone bar Stuey thought was hilarious. When the next batter put one over the fence to make it 6-5, not even Pittsy’s missus was smiling. While Devo was the only one to take a shot to the box, our infield couldn’t consistently handle the up and down bounces from the ground balls that Richo kept getting out of the Uni hitters. After the particularly frustrating bottom of the 4th, Uni scored 5 runs to take the lead 10-6. From there we scored an unanswered 9 runs in three digs, and fielded like Venezuelans to win 15-10. A definite turning point was Nick Carlton, who came off the bench to play first base, snaring a line drive in the 5th with the bases loaded and one out, finishing the inning with a double play. All in all a fantastic win, where we came back from behind as we’ve done several times this season. Too many standout performances to name, but here goes anyway – Trumble and Gibbo would’ve shared the 3 votes by both getting on base 5 times each and scoring 5 runs each – 10 runs from two players. . .Trumble covered in dirt and hustling all day, and Gibbo hitting doubles like one of the Woodies. Chris Whyte dominated at Wing Attack, going the whole day and getting better as the game went on. Pittsy starred behind the plate, contributing key hits, calling a great game, blocking well and throwing out a runner. McLean would’ve been close to the votes, on base all day and taking a good grab in the outfield early. Devo got crucial hits the last two times up, as did Keips. Carlton hit well and helped turn the game in the field. Jenkins hit the ball hard all day and made a good play to finish the game. Cam Carr was simply brilliant coaching 3rd base, knowing when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em. Sam Hamilton provided leadership on the bench, along with Mitch and Josh, who was our lucky charm at 1st. All in all a great team effort – building momentum and swinging the bats well at the right time.
Up next – Ringwood at Knox in a semi-final.
This week’s question – will Trumble be able to get his uniform clean in time for this week’s game??

Round 15: VS Watsonia

GMBC 7 Watsonia 6
The day started off well, with the boys enjoying a team breakfast of manly food including sausage, bacon, ham, pig, salami, swine, hog, boar, pork, prosciutto and razorback. Extra points to Pittsy for the double-smoked ham milkshake - inspirational stuff from a great leader. Team bonding over a massive meat-filled breakfast, sounds great but someone decided to put an “I” in team. A lone ranger, dissenter, rebel, dissident, etc, etc – The Hoff. To his credit he didn’t pretend to be vegetarian or claim to have religious beliefs preventing digging on swine, but he missed a half volley on (H)off stump to quote Pulp Fiction, inexcusable.
Ryan Jenkins’ pre-game analysis of the laws of physics and their theoretical prevention of the home run had us all completely confused. Wise beyond his years, Nick Carlton, who heard RJ’s Discovery Channel physics simply shook his head and said “No one can stop a home run. No one can understand what it really is, unless you have felt it in your own hands and body”. Needless to say the entire restaurant went quiet and a tumbleweed appeared out of nowhere. Ryan would later contradict his own ramblings by whomping a shot to left field to take out the regular season home run title. Take that Dr Karl.
Onto the game. Nothing to play for really, with 4th spot locked and loaded, and Watsonia out of the race. Expecting to win, and looking to refine a few plays and find some form leading into finals, we jumped out of the gate as planned, taking a 3-0 lead going into the bottom of the 4th. To their credit, Watsonia came to play – we easily could have scored 6-7+ runs early, but their pitcher threw well under pressure and they played great defence all day. In the 4th Watsonia strung together a few hits and capitalized on a couple of our mistakes to score 6 runs. Game on. We responded by scoring in each of the next 3 innings, while completely shutting the Saints out to take the game 7-6.
Some highlights – Gibbo again showing off the bazooka in center by throwing out a runner at home, pitchers & Pittsy combining well, 4 hits from RJ, 3 from Adam McLean including a super clutch RBI triple in the last, . . . . . and, as much as this hurts to type, 3 hits from Wayne ‘Hoff’ Roberts, all singles though mind you, so no need to implement a poached egg and camomile tea diet if you want to hit the long ball.
Well done to the team on a successful regular season, with finals baseball the reward. Up next. . . .a prelim-final vs Melbourne Uni at Uni. Can’t wait.
This week’s point - If you want to run with the big dogs you have to get off the porch.

Round 14: VS Forrest Hill

GMBC 17 Forest Hill 11
A wet day on the Ramsey St outer diamond, with no canteen services and therefore no hot dogs and/or beer. What is becoming of 3rds baseball?? Anyway, onto the game (you now know what my priorities have been all season, not a secret though really). As a group we fielded like we left our gloves at home - Whyety forced to get 4 or 5 outs in most innings. Forest Hill hit the ball well, as they've done most of the season, but our normally stellar defence was simply terrible. Our only defensive highlights were the pitching/catching and a screamer in right field by Dale Pitts, who came on when Wayne had to leave early. What is it with people named Dale taking crazy grabs in the outfield?
After spotting them 6 runs early, we pushed a few runs across through great team hitting and aggressive base-running. Dave Trumble, Ryan Jenkins, Pittsy Sr, and Nick Carlton contributing early on. Still down by a few, and with 2 on and 2 out, Gibbo crushed a line drive into the trees in center-field to put us up one, and give us a big lift. Unfortunately we handed the lead right bach to FH as the comedy capers continued in the field. Then things got crazy. Down by 2 runs with 30 or so minutes left, to get back the lead we had some good at bats/team baseball from Adam McLean, Whytey and Dave Trumble (again!). What followed was complete chaos as we put together 10+ consecutive at bats without an out and ended up scoring 11 runs in the inning. Towards the end of the inning there was talk that the light might become a factor - if we kept hitting there was a possibility the game would be called and we would revert to the previous inning. Whytey, Trumble and lefty Keips couldn't manage to go out at the plate, so an out on the bases was engineered. Keips took the hill, resembling a pitching machine set on slow, and 3 runs and 3 outs later, the game was ours.
Watsonia coming up this week following the pre-game breakfast. Last game before finals, let's see who can play ball loaded up on pancakes and bacon.
This week's question - Who let the dogs out???

Round 13: VS Ringwood

Ringwood 7 GMBC 4
Not a great time to play mediocre baseball. A double-chance on offer, and our last game of the regular season against a team with a winning record should have had us fired up like a roman candle. Instead, we ambled along in 3rd gear and got a kick in the pants which should show us the level of ball we need to play to have success in finals. We need to improve defensively and on the bases - giving away 3 outs on the bases through in a 6 inning game makes it very tough to win. We didn't play badly, but no-one in the side had a game they'd be happy with, so plenty of room for improvement, and we know we're capable of much better.
A few highlights - Whytey throwing out a runner at the plate to finish the 2nd, 2 hits each from Keips, Devo and Wayne, and Whytey's pitching.
We have two games ahead before finals against teams that have been very competitive in most of their games, but cannot make finals. A great opportunity to get into the habit of doing things right, and build some form and confidence heading into finals.
This weeks question - what the heck are our signals??

Round 12: VS Heathmont

GMBC 10 Heathmont 2
After last weeks fielding disgrace the boys turned up at Heathmont for the rematch ready to play.
With Nick "Hashem" Carlton full of confidence and Devlin giving the signals there was no stopping us.
All round solid defence and hits coming from the entire line up saw the team cruise home with a much deserved win.
Highlights:
Devo surprised us all and himself when he hosed a guy at the plate from right field.
Homeruns from Nick and Wayne. This weeks question: Has Carlton ever had a better 24hrs in his life?™

Round 11: VS Heathmont

Heathmont 12 GMBC 10
A weekend that most, if not all of us would rather forget.
Our poor fielding allowed Heathmont to get away from us but to the boys credit we rallied in the last to give ourselves some hope of victory and a more respectable score line.
This weeks question: Can the 3rds win a game without their coach?

Round 10: VS Forrest Hill

No report submitted.

Round 9: VS Knox

GMBC 2 Knox 2
A game where either side could've easily won by 3 or 4 runs, both teams had plenty of runners on base, but couldn't convert. Whytey starred on the mound and with the bat - hitting a home run leading off the last inning to tie the game, and consistently pitching in and out of trouble. A rain shortened game, shortened even further by Knox, desperate for a beer, claiming the game was over 10 minutes sooner than it should've been. Interesting to see that we seemed to be the only ones disappointed with a draw . . . . if/when we see them again it will be in the finals, which would be a cracker.
After a week off we head out to Forest Hill, who are in last place, but lead the competition in runs scored - the Carlton of A3??

Round 8: VS Melbourne Uni

GMBC 10 Melbourne University 6 Even without Gibbo and Nick, we clearly outclassed Uni, who were without a few players from earlier in the season. That said, Uni played a very good brand of baseball, and nearly stole the points through out-hustling us and running the bases very aggressively - too aggressively as the couple of run-downs and outfield assists show. We were a bit flat on the bases and in the field - not looking for signs, forgetting the number of outs, not looking to score from 3rd on a ground ball to an infield playing back - the shenanigans you often see in this grade of baseball - usually by the opposition. Easy stuff to fix, but we're better than that.
Top games defensively by David Trumble and Josh Deans Draper - Dave gunning down two runners and Josh showing off a big arm with a perfect throw to the plate from deep right field. Infield was a bit patchy early for a change, gifting Uni a few runs through errors - Adam and Stu finished strong, making several good plays in the final few digs. Pittsy, Ryan, Dave, Mitch lead the way with the bat, Josh's purple patch with the stick also continued - Ryan absolutely pummelled another home run, this time to deep, deep center. Stu's left handed shot to deep right field should've been a double and a talking point, but it was run down near the fence. Whytey threw well again for us, fantastic command on his curve, though not many went for called strikes, but great spots all day, despite what the umpire thought.
All in all a good win against a side that was above us on the ladder. The win moved us into 2nd spot, making this week's game against Knox a battle of 1 vs 2.
This week's questions - 1. Was the Melbourne Uni cleanup hitting the smallest guy to ever bat #4 in seniors? 2. Will Gibbo get his spot back in center field if/when he returns to the 3's??

Round 7: VS Watsonia

GMBC 15 Watsonia 3
We crushed. Everyone hit, we fielded well and Whytey threw a gem - all with only 8 players and Gibbo sub-fielding for us in right field. Mitchapolooza and Keips rolled a few doubles, great baserunning and hitting all day - with almost no-one swinging for the fences for a change - even though Ryan almost put over another bomb. Our first game of the year where we played to our potential - about time. Everyone starred with the bat, except for the blank, who frankly contributed nothing. With Devo and Gibbo to come back in the side, things are looking up. Coming up - Melbourne Uni return to Monty, for round 2, should be a corker.
This week's question - does Gibbo yell out "Come on team batting!!" when Keips and Ryan are hitting to keep him in the home run race?? PS - you're down 2 Gibbo.

Round 6: VS Forest Hill

GMBC 14 Forest Hill 10
Lots of hitting all day from both sides. Keips threw all game, with Whytey suffering a bad case of shaggers back - nobody believes that 'lifting tires' story. Forest Hill had more hits than the Beatles, taking a 9-3 lead in the 4th inning. We answered with 4 runs in the bottom of the 4th - a few innings later we trailed 10-8 entering the 7th and last inning. Nick Carlton lead off getting hit in the leg by a pitch in the dirt, Pittsy followed with his 3rd hit of the game, Mitch walked to load the bases - with none out. Whytey grounded hard to 3rd, but Forest Hill bobbled, and couldn't get an out anywhere - Devo then did the same, resulting in a tie game, bases loaded, none out, with Gibbo, our #3 hitter up - surely the game was ours. . . After a long at bat, Gibbo popped up to 1st base for out #1. Keips quickly followed, also popping up to first, for the second out. . . and game on again. Ryan Jenkins came through, hitting a 2-2 pitch, line drive home run over the center-field fence for a grand slam walk-off. Great way to finish the game. Whytey, Keips, Jenkins and Pitts with multiple hits - Whytey was on base all 5 times he batted. Solid defence for most of the day kept us in the game - the switch of Pittsy to 3rd and Ryan to catch worked well - with Whyety doing well at first base, and Gibbo nearly taking another screamer in center (it's not cricket Gibbo - you claim any catch you get close to in this game!). Still not putting everything together, but we're improving and at 3 and 3, and in 4th spot we'll take it.

Round 5: VS Heathmont

GMBC 8 Heathmont 4
A well deserved win where we manufactured a few runs through aggressive
baserunning and team baseball.  Whytey was back to his best on the hill -
giving up a few scattered hits, but generally avoiding walks and big
innings.  Heathmont were hampered by only having 8 players, and they played
pretty well, but our defence was outstanding all day and we did what we had
to do in the box.  Gibbo showed off his crazylegs and scored from 2nd on a
pickoff that went to centerfield, and later scored from 3rd on a passed
ball - two handy runs both due to taking on the opposition after getting on
base by being hit by a pitch.  Big change for us from the previous couple
of weeks where we've been a bit flat and looked like we were waiting for
someone to hit a bomb.  Devo continued his white-hot form with the bat,
crushing a tree just off the fairway in left - nice tag at 2nd too Hopoate.
Whyte, Carlton, Keips and Trumble also in good form.  We've jumped to 4th
spot on the ladder - to stay in the 4 and work towards doing well in finals
we need to get some consistency with the bat sooner rather than later -
this week against Forest Hill would be ideal.  Thanks to Dale and Phil for
umpiring - good job too fellas.  
This week's question - How many deb-balls
can Mitch possibly attend in one year, and is he wearing the same dress??

Round 4: VS Knox

Knox 4 GMBC 2
Yet again, another good game of baseball where we had our chances but couldn't get over the line. Knox played well, with their pitcher throwing a good game and not allowing us to string hits together. Offensively our inconsistency is hurting us, even though we out-hit Knox, we had too many 0-fers and unproductive outs (strike outs and pop-ups). Well done to Stu Devlin and Nick Carlton, who both had 3 hits, but with Stu batting 2nd and Nick at 7, their form on the day didn't lead to big innings for us. Gibbo put one over the fence, but unfortunately it was in the hands of their centerfielder when he fell over, so no soup for you. Defensively we were solid after an early error gave Knox two unearned runs. Gibbo took a crazy catch in the outfield (justifiably getting dirty for a change - see R2's question), with Mitch also grabbing a blinder running back over his shoulder from second base. Keiper threw well all day, but was put over the fence by someone less than half his age - we'll see if Knox have a 9 year old to crush one off Whytey next time we play. Up next - Heathmont at home. Crucial we get a win, while also starting to play better team ball offensively.
This weeks question - Why don't Knox discuss the sun-glare behind home plate in the pre-game discussion about the ground? If the sun sets in the west each week (good one Whytey) then the late game must be delayed 10 minutes each week it's not overcast. Would be a sensible move to advise each visiting manager that in the event of sunshine the ground will be unplayable for 10 minutes and avoid confusion and threatened trips to Altona. Enough whining, let's get rolling against Heathmont.

Round 3: VS Ringwood

It's not often you pat each other on the back after losing a game of baseball by 5 runs, but with Wayne's wedding cleverly scheduled for a Saturday during the season (karma should not have provided 23 degree sunshine for this wedding), and quite a few unavailables in the 1's and 2's, we only managed to scrape together 7 players. There's no re-entry rule in A3, so we couldn't count on support from the 4's, although Josh DD was great in sub-fielding for us all game at 3rd, and Ringwood were good about it and gave us a sub-fielder in right-field for the day.
Anyway, onto the game. We hit over .400 on the day, and drew a few walks, with some clutch at bats putting Ringwood under pressure, despite having two blanks batting 8 & 9. Ryan Jenkins smacked double and a home run - Gibbo and Keips had multiple hits, Cam Jury came out of retirement and crushed a double in his first at-bat and can hopefully be coaxed into playing at least semi-regularly. Mitch Bennett continues to impress, showing he now has home run power, putting two balls over the fence, but unfortunately with the impatience of youth he pulled both of them foul. Whytey was solid on the hill, striking out 7 in 7 innings. At one stage we were down 8-6 as we entered the bottom of the 7th, with a glimmer of hope if Whytey could quickly shut them down 1-2-3, but a couple of hits and two misplayed balls in right-field by their sub-fielder pushed 3 runs across the plate and took enough time to get to the 5-minute rule and finish the game. To be fair, the blanks were going to bat in the 8th anyway, so it would've been a big ask, but for us to come as close as we did against a top two side from last year was a moral victory. Moral victory or not, the league won't give us the points, and with 1 win from 3 games - it's time to get moving.
This week's question - Did Chris Whyte's shortcut really involve driving on Eastlink?

Round 2: VS Melbourne Uni

Bizarre, but good game of baseball. Uni jumped out of the blocks scoring 4 runs in the first inning, hitting more balls hard off Chris Whyte than they have in the past two seasons combined. Whytey quickly settled and pitched effectively through five innings - only giving up a 2RBI bloop single in the 3rd which at the time put Uni ahead 6-2. We chipped away all day in the box, scoring in three digs and threatening in most, but couldn't convert our chances. In the bottom of the 4th we scored 3 through doubles by Mitch and Gibbo, followed by a 9-iron home run to Keiper (nice height). With the score 6-5 and 45 minutes to go it looked like 10 runs were needed to win - but neither team could score from there.
Lardio's cameo appearance in the 3's proved entertaining - a couple of hits in the box and a stint on the hill where he showed off more junk than Sanford & Son. Mitch is swinging a hot bat, as is newcomer (is there such a thing as an oldcomer?) David Trumble. Pittsy and Whyte both hit lasers straight to their left fielder, one became a chest-mark (use your glove Neil) and the other caught on the second grab with a bare hand (again, utilise the leather). No point in getting worked up about missed opportunities - we'll look forward to playing an improved Uni side later in the year, and need to focus on grabbing our chances over the coming weeks against Ringwood and Knox.
This week's question - would Gibbo slide/dive/fall over for outfield catches all the time if his Mum didn't do his washing??

Round 1: VS Greensborough